


Bring Me Back to You

by FrostedLimits



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-compliant til end S3, F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, I think im using that tag correctly, Mostly Wayhaught, Post S3, Soft Wynaught, i love all these characters, i'm sorry for the pain, when i say angst i mean angst, with a dash of WynDoc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:15:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 27,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23273059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrostedLimits/pseuds/FrostedLimits
Summary: 8 months.252 days.That's how long it had been since the last time Nicole had seen Waverly. Since she had kissed her. Since she last touched her hand. 252 days since she nearly died. Since Wynonna drugged her and the last thing she saw was the look in Waverly's eyes as she fell to the floor and their hands slipped apart.And now it was finally over, Waverly and Doc were home. Or at least their persons were. Their time in the garden changed them. Took their memories.----The hella angsty canon world continuation from S3 that no one asked for. Lots of pain and lots of love, and most importantly - Wayhaught.
Relationships: Waverly Earp & Nicole Haught, Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught, Wynonna Earp & Doc Holliday, Wynonna Earp/Doc Holliday
Comments: 92
Kudos: 467





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been writing this for longer than I care to admit, and finally finished it. I hope y'all like it and are ready for a very angst filled take on what it will be like to get Waverly and Doc back from the Garden.

8 months.

252 days.

That's how long it had been since the last time Nicole had seen Waverly. Since she had kissed her. Since she last touched her hand. 252 days since she nearly died. Since Wynonna drugged her and the last thing she saw was the look in Waverly's eyes as she fell to the floor and their hands slipped apart.

And now it was finally over, Waverly and Doc were home. Or at least their persons were. Their time in the garden changed them. Took their memories. Muted them. Doc emerged with no memory after climbing from the well, but he wasn't angry like he was when he vowed revenge on the Stone Witch. He was calm, sated. As if he had no emotion, he was just… alive.

Waverly was… different. Gone was the warmth that surrounded her. She still had a brightness but it was cold, ethereal. She gazed over the land around them as if she could see for miles, looking over the world as if it was miniscule. As if she was seeing it from above… a true angel. And just like Doc, her memories were missing.

Both of them looked at Nicole and Wynonna with no recognition in their eyes. Waverly was the first to speak, "We can trust them. I can feel it." She looked to Doc and nodded her head.

"Lead the way." He answered her, turning to Wynonna and Nicole.

Nicole felt the tears streaming down her face, she was so happy to see them. And heartbroken at the loss of who they were. Wynonna cleared her throat, blinking as the tears in her eyes fell. She turned towards the car, grabbing Nicole's hand in the process, leading them all away from those horrible stairs.

-

After a too quiet drive, they all ended up back at the Homestead. Doc out in his old bed in the barn, even without guidance. It was as if he just knew that was where he was meant to be, whether actual memory or just a feeling. Wynonna's heart shattered even more as she watched him walk away.

The girls made their way into the house in silence. Their bodies stiff with exhaustion.

"Um, your room is up there. Second door on the right." Wynonna spoke softly to Waverly.

"Thank you." Waverly replied as she turned to walk up the stairs.

"Waverly -" Nicole choked out her name as she reached for Waverly's hand. She couldn’t take it anymore.

Waverly whipped toward the red-head pulling her hand away quickly when she felt Nicole’s fingertips brush against her skin. Her eyes flashed with the most intense fear and anger Nicole had ever seen.

The red-head recoiled at the glare. "I'm sor-sorry," she stuttered, trying to recover.

"Do not touch me." Waverly's voice was cold. Her eyes flitted between Nicole and Wynonna, "Either of you." With a final glare, she turned and walked up the stairs.

The sound of her door closing was what finally broke Wynonna. The dark haired woman walked into the kitchen, grabbing her favorite bottle of whiskey and taking a long pull. She passed it to the red-head who took a drink of her own before handing it back.

Bottle in hand, Wynonna walked to the base of the stairs, staring up into the now empty hallway. She stood there in silence, just watching, the occasional drink passing from the bottle to her lips. Eventually, she turned and collapsed into Nicole, sobbing as she struggled to take in everything that had happened in the past few hours. The red-head hugged her tightly, wrapping one arm around her shoulder and the other cradling the back of her head as they lowered to the ground, Nicole leaning them against the back of the couch, unsure if her weary body could fully support the now intoxicated Wynonna.

"We were too late. They're gone." Wynonna brokenly whispered through labored breaths.

"Shhh," Nicole stroked her hair, letting her own tears fall. "We are getting them back. They are alive. They are here. And we will find a way to get them back. _All_ of them."

Nicole couldn't begin to guess how long they stayed like that, she eventually felt Wynonna soften against her and the easy change in her breathing that meant she was finally asleep. Using her remaining strength, Nicole set the now empty bottle aside, lifted the distraught woman and carried her to her bed in the adjacent room. Laying her down gently she removed Wynonna's jacket and boots, setting them beside the bed before pulling the blankets up to cover her.

"Haught -" Wynonna shifted slightly, her voice hoarse.

"I'll be in the living room. I'm staying." Nicole spoke firmly but softened her words with strokes to brunette hair.

"Of course you are, deputy dipshit. Get your ass in this bed." Wynonna tugged at Nicole's wrist.

"Wy -" Nicole protested, she knew Wynonna actually needed a good night’s rest.

Wynonna's eyes opened enough to look straight into Nicole's, "We both know you aren't sleeping anyways. Might as well not sleep on something more comfortable than the couch. It's not like it’s the first time anyways. It's been a long day, just accept the comfort okay?" Wynonna rested her hand on Nicole's forearm, trying to show the sheriff that they both needed this.

Nicole sighed and nodded. She slipped off her jacket and boots and laid down on the other side of the bed. Wynonna rolled towards her, holding her hand out for the red-head to take.

“Just no funny business, Red-Hot. Hate for all this time staying faithful to that fiance of yours to go to waste.” Wynonna let out a small chuckle, trying to ease the mood. Their hands joined between them on the bed as Wynonna drifted back to sleep.

Nicole stared at the ceiling, tracing the same patterns she has learned over the past 5 months, since the first night she and Wynonna finally let their friendship be their comfort.

_It had been an awful day. The lead they had been following hit a dead end. They both drowned their sorrows in a bottle of whiskey, followed by hours of screaming at each other._

_"What the fuck are we suppose to do now!" Wynonna yelled at Nicole, throwing her glass against the wall, shattering it._

_"I don't know! Maybe if you hadn’t drugged me, let me get kidnapped, and then taken 3 weeks to find me, I could've done SOMETHING!" Nicole spat back, letting her anger fill her. It was easier than feeling the pain._

_"How many times do I have to apologize for that! I'M SORRY. I was trying to make sure you didn't die!"_

_"I would've gladly died if it meant she wasn’t trapped in there with him!"_

_Wynonna's eyes widened at her words. Her voice quieted "Nicole. He went in after her to protect her. He was different."_

_Nicole's anger flowed into her words like venom. "I hope you're right. Otherwise when we find them, it will just be him standing over her body. Her blood on his face." Nicole turned towards the stairs to go sleep in Waverly's bed as she had been doing ever since she got back. She paused on the first step, "And your hands." She heard Wynonna's choked sob as her feet dragged up each step._

_Nicole let the bedroom door close behind her, lacking the energy to even slam it shut. Her body moved on auto-pilot to collapse on the bed. She crawled to Waverly's side and pulled her pillow to her chest, inhaling deeply, needing the smell to calm her. But, it wasn't there. Nicole took another deep breath, her brow furrowing as she couldn't find the comforting scent that she ached for every minute of the day. Her heart raced as she realized what it meant. It was gone. The bed smelled only of Nicole. The red-head couldn't take it. She screamed and sobbed as she jumped up, ripping pillows and blankets off the bed, throwing them across the room. She fell in a heap to the ground, her body shaking._

_The door softly creaked open, and Nicole could hear the soft padding of Wynonna's feet approach her. A gentle hand reached out for Nicole's, with a whisper so soft it could've been the wind. "I'm sorry."_

_"The bed-" Nicole could barely form the words, "It doesn’t - It doesn’t smell like her anymore."_

_Nicole felt the hand around hers tighten for just a moment, a small comfort. "Come sleep in mine."_

_"What?"_

_"You can't sleep up here, it will just hurt you. Hell, I know you won't sleep at all tonight anyways. So come lay down somewhere that won't mess up your back or break your heart."_

_Nicole let Wynonna pull her off the ground, "Can't break what's already broken." Nicole mumbled as she followed the Earp down the stairs._

_"I'm as broken as they come. And this still shattered me." Wynonna looked at Nicole with sad eyes as she laid down in her bed._

_Nicole shifted awkwardly before laying down on her back, gazing up at the ceiling. She felt Wynonna turn towards her, and then a soft hand grasp hers. Their joined hands resting between them. Nicole exhaled. Her entire mind fought herself about trusting Wynonna like this. She turned to study the brunette's face, even in sleep it was haunted. In that moment, Nicole's heart ached and finally broke her will to be angry. She squeezed Wynonna's hand gently. She turned back towards the ceiling, tracing mindless patterns as she tried to figure out what their next step would be._

And now, as her eyes traced the same patterns as they did so many months ago, she once again tried to figure out what their next step would be.

-

Dawn broke over the Homestead, the soft light peaking in through curtains all over the house. Nicole’s eyes were bloodshot, and her body was weary. She sat up in the bed, letting her hand fall away from Wynonna’s. She heard soft steps upstairs before complete silence. She strained to hear a single sound. When nothing came, her heart doubled in speed. Her mind betrayed her, saying that she had lost Waverly again. Nicole tried to keep calm as she ascended the stairs. Gently knocking against the door, Nicole listened for Waverly. No sound came.

Nicole risked opening the door, slowly peaking around it. The room was empty, the only movement being the soft breeze filtering through the curtains. Nicole’s body sagged in relief. She remembered her girlfriend’s habit of climbing out on the roof whenever she was overwhelmed. Nicole couldn’t help herself, she had to at least take the chance to talk to Waverly.

She padded over to the window, poking her head out gently. Her eyes landed on Waverly immediately. She sat there looking out over the land, her hair gently swaying in long, soft waves. The white shawl around her shoulders moving with the breeze. Familiar eyes met Nicole’s, familiar yet completely new.

Nicole felt her throat tighten as she stared into Waverly’s eyes, “Can I sit?” Her voice had never felt so small.

Waverly shifted slightly in response, giving enough room for Nicole to climb out onto the roof next to her. Nicole settled and brought her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them while watching the sun rise.

Waverly’s voice eventually broke the silence after a few minutes, startling Nicole slightly, “You smell like my bed.” Waverly tilted her head as she looked at the other woman. “Why?”

Nicole swallowed hard as she met Waverly’s gaze. She fought the tears back as she answered, “Oh… um, I’ve been sleeping there. While you’ve been – while you were away.”

Waverly’s eyes flashed with something Nicole couldn’t place. “Well, it’s a good smell.” She turned to look back over the field.

“Vanilla dipped donuts.” Nicole muttered.

“What?” Waverly’s attention was back on the girl next to her.

“Vanilla dipped donuts. That’s what it smells like. Or at least that’s what you used to say.”

Waverly’s brow furrowed, as if her brain was looking for the memory but just found empty space. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes.

Nicole shifted to put a hand on Waverly’s, stopping at the last second, remembering her reaction the night before. She let her hand fall back at her side, “What can I do for you Waverly? I know you don’t know me, but I promise I will do whatever I can to help you.”

“I know.” Waverly took one last look over the land, fully covered in the light of the morning sun. Nicole looked at the girl, watched the sun turn her hair golden and sparkle in her eyes. “I know I can trust you; I _feel_ it.” Waverly spoke with reverence. She turned to look at Nicole again, catching the gaze of beautiful, brown eyes. “But I don’t even know your name.”

Nicole smiled softly, letting her dimples show through just barely, “I’m Nicole. Nicole Haught.”

Waverly studied Nicole’s face, letting the smallest, briefest smile pass over her face in return. “It’s nice to meet you Nicole.” She brought her hand between them, offering it to Nicole to shake.

Nicole’s breath caught as she raised her hand to Waverly’s. It felt electric, feeling the girl’s hand in hers after so long. A tight grasp to replace the feeling of their hands slipping apart so many months ago. After a beat too long, Waverly released Nicole’s hand. Nicole felt her heart start beating again, as their touch ceased. _She let me touch her_ , Nicole thought. And for the first time in 253 days, Nicole felt the pieces of her heart start to mend.

Forcing herself to break the eye contact, Nicole cleared her throat. “Well, I will head inside. Um, I’ll make some breakfast for us all.”

Waverly nodded and looked back out over the land. Nicole saw her eyes glaze over, as if her mind was taking her to a completely different place. Nicole fought every instinct to stay by her side and crawled back through the window.

Walking down the stairs, Nicole sighed and shook the nervous energy out of her hands. It took every part of her willpower to give Waverly the space the girl needed. If Nicole could, she would wrap Waverly tightly in her arms and never let go. But she knew she couldn’t. If she wanted Waverly to come back to her, she would have to let it happen on Waverly’s time.

Nicole set about preparing breakfast. Clicking on the radio to her favorite 80s station, she pulled out eggs and ham for Wynonna and Doc, while grabbing some tofu, peppers, and potatoes to fix a hash for herself and Waverly.

The smell of food quickly brought Wynonna out of her slumber. The brunette entered the kitchen, pouring a mug of coffee out of the fresh pot Nicole just made. After a quick sip, she grimaced, grabbing for the bottle of whiskey nearby and pouring a healthy dose into her cup.

Taking another sip, Wynonna exhaled, “Perfect.”

Nicole rolled her eyes playfully at the elder Earp.

“How are you this morning?” Wynonna asked, concern in her eyes.

Nicole hesitated, “I don’t know. But they are here. That’s what matters.”

Wynonna nodded. “I’m, uh, gonna take this out to Doc. I –“ Her voice faded as she reached for his plate.

Nicole placed her hand over Wynonna’s wrist, “I understand, no need to explain. Go see him. Waverly will be here when you get back inside.” She gently stroked her hand, trying to help ease the clear pain radiating from the other woman, “You don’t have to choose one or the other. They are both here, see them both whenever you can.”

Wynonna grabbed the plate and headed for the door. As she opened it, Nicole heard a soft _thank you_ before she stepped out of the house, letting the door shut behind her.

Nicole finished the rest of the food and turned off the stove, humming along to “Caught Up In You” playing through the small radio speakers. She hadn’t heard Waverly moving around, so she ascended the stairs planning on leaning out the window to tell her the food was ready. Without thinking, she opened the door to Waverly’s room without knocking.

Looking in, Nicole froze at the sight of Waverly before her. The small brunette had been changing her clothes, her back to the door, only in her underwear. But the sight that had Nicole stuck in place wasn’t the body she knew better than her own. It was the one she didn’t; Waverly’s skin now marred with new marks on it.

Scars ran across Waverly’s body. Nicole could see two identical vertical scars running between her shoulder blades. _Wings_ , Nicole thought. Her eyes continued to take in the other markings. A jagged scar running across her ribs. A clean, white slice starting at her spine and stretching across to her hip, sitting just at the top of her pelvis. Jagged markings twisted around Waverly’s legs, as if something with thorns had held her in place by them.

Nicole’s eyes were drawn to the edge of Waverly’s shoulder, where it looked as if Waverly had gotten a tattoo. Nicole felt her throat tighten as she figured out what it was. The word paradise, in Arabic, _branded_ into Waverly’s skin.

Before she could stop herself, Nicole let out a shocked breath, “Waverly -“

The younger girl's entire body tensed as she whipped towards the door, unaware of the new presence until that moment. A fire lit behind her eyes of pure anger. “Out!” She screamed.

Nicole jumped at the outburst, startled out of her reverie. She saw more scars painting Waverly’s abdomen. Nicole couldn’t move her brain fast enough to react.

“I said OUT!” Waverly yelled louder. As the word _out_ left her mouth, her shoulders rolled and suddenly Nicole was staring at huge, white wings as they came to their full span before folding in front of the brunette, shielding her body.

Nicole finally moved, slamming the door shut as fast as she could. Panting in the hallway, Nicole’s mind was moving in a thousand different directions, trying to understand everything she just saw. Calming her breath, she turned towards the door. “Um… I’m sorry. I… there is food downstairs if you want it. I will make myself scarce.” Nicole heard no response, but she assumed the girl had heard her.

Heading down the stairs, Nicole found Wynonna back in the kitchen.

“Jeremy came and got Doc. Took him to Shorty’s. Figured that using his hands and being in a familiar place might help bring some memories back.” Wynonna spoke flatly, trying her best to hide how much it hurt that Doc didn’t remember her.

Nicole nodded, “She’s upstairs. I don’t know if she will be down for food. I, um, accidentally walked in on her changing.”

Wynonna looked at Nicole, knowing there was something the red head wasn’t saying. “Just couldn’t help yourself?” Wynonna tried to joke, but it fell flat in the tenseness of the morning.

“I’m gonna go see what I can do here. Check the barn for anything that needs repaired, the roof, and the back fences. I’ll be here, just not-“

“ _Here.”_ Wynonna finished for her.

Nicole nodded. “Probably best.”

“Okay, Haught. I’ve got her.”

Nicole smiled at her best friend. Grabbing her jacket, she headed out the door of the homestead to make herself busy with whatever manual labor she can get her hands on.

Wynonna heard the stairs creak as Waverly made her way down. A small smile formed on her face as she took in Waverly’s choice of blue jeans and an old “Purgatory County Fair” shirt that Curtis had bought her.

“Food is keeping warm in the oven if you’re hungry.” Wynonna spoke softly, not sure of Waverly’s mood after the yelling she heard earlier.

“Thank you.” Waverly’s words were short and polite as she walked over to the oven.

“The plates are –“ Wynonna started and was cut off by Waverly opening the proper cabinets to gather everything she needed for breakfast.

“What?” The younger girl asked, turning to face Wynonna.

“Um, nothing. I guess.” Wynonna swallowed harshly, trying to make sure she kept her calm. “H-How did you know where those were?”

“Oh.” Waverly looked down at the plate in her hand. “I don’t – I’m not sure. I just did.” A look of confusion came over her face. “I can almost –“ Waverly’s words were strained, her face screwed up in concentration, “AH!” Waverly yelped as she dropped the plate, letting it shatter against the floor.

Wynonna was up and to her side in an instant. “Waves, what happened?” Instinctively, Wynonna reached out to grab her arm.

“NO!” Waverly screamed, pushing her arms out against her sister with such force Wynonna tumbled a few feet before slamming into the kitchen table.

Wynonna grunted as she got her breath back and tried to stand. She winced at the feeling of straightening her back, knowing that there was sure to be one hell of a bruise or maybe even a broken rib. She looked at her sister, seeing an overwhelming amount of coldness and anger. But she also saw the smallest sliver of fear.

“I’m okay, Waves. I’m fine. You didn’t hurt me. I’m gonna be okay. And so are you.” Wynonna tried to reassure her sister, doing everything she could to not show any sign of her injury.

“I have to go.” Waverly’s words held no emotion as she turned and walked out the door.

-

Waverly sat in the middle of the field behind the homestead. The wind blew gently through her hair, the sun occasionally highlighting parts of the brunette strands golden. She stared out over the long grass, searching for answers among the blades. Out of the corner of her eye, Waverly caught a flash of red.

Looking towards the far fence, she saw Nicole working to repair an old post. Hair held down by her backwards Purgatory Sheriff’s Department ball cap, and her arms and legs protected by an old red flannel and jeans. Brown boots digging into the ground as she used the leverage to pull the old wood out of the fence. A small smile came over the brunette’s lips, seeing the red-head at work. A memory tugged at the back of her mind, her brow furrowing as she tried to bring it forward.

“Come _on_.” Waverly muttered through gritted teeth, her frustration about not being able to access her memories from before the garden rising to the surface. “ _Remember."_ Waverly scolded herself, pulling at her memory, squeezing her eyes closed and trying to see it.

_A flash of a dimpled grin, Waverly saw her hands tug gently at the ball cap facing forward on Nicole’s head. Brown eyes shining with love looking down at her, the grin growing wider. The hands warm on her hips, the grip tightening slightly. She saw Nicole’s lips move, unable to make out the words. Waverly felt her body move closer and lean into the taller woman –_

“AHH!” Waverly screamed as searing pain shot through her body. Feeling like her ribs and legs were torn open and her shoulder was on fire. Her body twisted as the pain raced over her skin.

Nicole heard the scream from across the pasture. Her head whipped around to see the love of her life arched in pain as the worst sound Nicole had ever heard tore through her lips. She dropped the tools in her hands and raced over to the brunette.

Coming just a few feet in front of her, Nicole stopped, careful to keep a good distance. “Waverly.”

The girl kept screaming.

“Waverly!” Nicole yelled over the girl’s anguish, tears hitting the edges of her eyes.

Waverly’s eyes snapped open and focused on Nicole. Suddenly, her wings were expanded to full size. Beautiful, shockingly white, and powerful. Green eyes cold and hard.

Nicole kept her eyes on Waverly’s. Not the wings, not her body, just the eyes of the woman she loved.

“Waverly.” Nicole said again, calmer.

The wings twitched, a half stroke.

“Waverly.” Nicole reached a hand forward.

Fear slashed across Waverly’s face as her wings folded forward in front of herself, essentially blocking the girl off from anything and everything around her.

Nicole pulled her hand back quickly. “Okay,” she spoke softly, “okay.” She lowered to the ground, folding her legs to sit down a few feet in front of Waverly. “I’m just going to sit here okay?” Her voice as quiet as she could make it without whispering. “No moving, no touching, I’ll even stop talking. Just know I’m here.”

Nicole sat still and quiet, watching the part of the wings hiding Waverly’s face. She could hear the heavy breathing of the girl underneath the wings.

The air rustled around them, moving the feathers softly, the way they rippled in the sun making them shine. Beautiful and white, and then suddenly silver and multi-colored as they moved. Nicole was in awe of their beauty. They sat just like that for hours. At one point, Nicole saw Wynonna in the distance. She could make out the look of shock and concern on her face at the girl shrouded by her wings. Nicole shook her head gently, lifting her hand barely to tell Wynonna she had this. Wynonna just nodded before turning to head back into the homestead.

The sky began to warm as the sun lowered. Nicole sat patiently, ignoring the stiffness in her body and the chill in the air. Suddenly, she saw the wings twitch. Nicole schooled her features and breathing, making sure to stay as calm as possible. The wings moved a bit more, separating just enough for Nicole to see Waverly’s head, bowed and looking at her feet. Nicole stayed still. Stayed quiet. Letting Waverly come out of this on her own.

The wings parted further, beginning to extend outwards, fully showing the girl that had been hidden underneath them. Waverly’s head lifted slightly, her eyes finding Nicole’s boots. Nicole used all of her willpower to not squirm under the attention.

After a few more moments, green eyes shifted up to meet Nicole’s. She held Waverly’s gaze, making sure to breathe calmly. Nicole watched as the intense coldness in Waverly’s eyes faded and warmed, back to a familiar gaze, even if very cautious.

As the warmth returned, the wings fully retreated, folding into Waverly’s back.

“Hi.” Waverly whispered.

“Hey beautiful. Welcome back.” Nicole replied softly, her dimples outlining a small smile.

“I –“ Waverly started but her words wouldn’t come.

“Don’t worry. You don’t have to say anything until you’re ready.”

Waverly looked at Nicole, eyes softening just slightly.

“Thank you.” The brunette spoke so quietly Nicole nearly thought she had imagined it.

“I am here. By your side. Always.” Nicole smiled slightly, “Or at least as long as you want me.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Learned instinct is a powerful thing, but it has to be powerful enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all didn't think this was gonna get less angsty or painful did ya??

The morning came softly, lighting up the homestead with a warm glow. Nicole let out a sigh as she stretched, standing from the couch to let her body fully lengthen from the cramped position it had been in all night. She ran her hands through her hair to try and tame it while thinking over everything that had happened yesterday.

She touched Waverly. Just briefly, but it happened and it was okay. Until it wasn’t. The scars.  _ The scars _ . Nicole stares up at the ceiling trying to forget the image that was seared into her brain. The woman she loved more than her own life, torn apart and healed. Nicole’s stomach rolled at the thoughts of what must’ve happened in the garden to leave such marks. The thoughts were soon replaced by the image of wings, Waverly’s beautiful wings, somehow white and every color of the rainbow all at once. After the hours of staring at them while sitting on the ground, Nicole was sure she had counted every feather. It was calmer after that though. Once Waverly was okay enough to move, Nicole brought her inside. She quietly made a cup of Waverly’s favorite tea and watched as the brunette took a sip, smiled slightly, before she walked up to her room for the remainder of the night.

Nicole rubbed her hands across her face as she tried to figure out what they should do today. She wanted some semblance of normalcy, but nothing was normal about the situation. She was grateful to Nedley for stepping back in to run the police department while Nicole and Wynonna found Waverly, but she was missing the routine to keep her grounded.

Nicole mindlessly made a pot of coffee and pulled out a mug for herself. She took a deep breath, the smell of the fresh brew waking her up. As she poured her cup and turned to grab milk out of the fridge, Wynonna stumbled into the kitchen in her flannel pajama pants and baggy Van Halen shirt.

“Thanks Red.” Wynonna mumbled as she grabbed the cup of still black coffee from Nicole.

Nicole rolled her eyes slightly as she turned to grab another mug and make herself a new cup of coffee. They stood in the kitchen together quietly sipping their coffee. Nicole looking out the window aimlessly and Wynonna staring at the floor.

“How is she?” Wynonna voice was just above a whisper.

Nicole turned towards the brunette. “I- I don’t know. Yesterday was…”  _ Overwhelming. Heartbreaking.  _ Nicole thought. “Day one.”

Wynonna nodded. “Thank you for being here. For taking care of her when she was – out in the field.” Wynonna could only think of seeing Nicole on the ground, sitting in front of Waverly, or so she assumed, as all Wynonna could see were two white wings curled around and protecting whatever was beneath them.

“They both need you.” Nicole put her hand on her best friend's shoulder. “But I’ve got you, and I’ve got her.” Nicole pulled Wynonna into a hug, setting her coffee down on the counter next to her so it didn’t spill. “I’ve even got him.” She added quietly. She couldn’t figure out what she was feeling for Doc, but Wynonna needed her to be okay with him, at least for now. And for now was something Nicole could give her.

“I know you think my ass is top-shelf but I don’t think when my baby sister comes to, that she would appreciate you hitting on me all the time.” Wynonna joked in a shaky voice.

Nicole chuckled, “You wish.”

They released the hug, quick smiles towards each other as the moment ended. Soon they were back to quietly sipping coffee.

The silence was broken by the sound of Waverly entering the kitchen. “Morning.” She said politely, standing semi-awkward near the doorway.

“Morning.” Wynonna answered her, smiling at her sister.

“Coffee?” Nicole asked, gesturing towards the pot.

Waverly nodded gently and Nicole set about making her a cup. Coffee, soy milk, two sugars. Just how Waves liked it.

“Wow, I haven’t seen that shirt in forever.” Nicole heard Wynonna speak as she turned to hand Waverly her coffee, taking care that their hands never touched.

That’s when Nicole noticed the Shorty’s shirt. Red and blue and just like she remembered, except this time, while still tied tightly, it wasn’t pulled up into a crop like it used to be. Nicole took a second to glance down at the jeans on Waverly’s legs.

The thought crossing Nicole’s mind,  _ She’s covering her scars. _

“Oh-“ Waverly startled at Wynonna’s comment, “Is something wrong with it? I- I felt like it was right to put it on.” Waverly crossed her arms over her chest, sipping her coffee, suddenly making herself very small.

“Nothing’s wrong, promise.” Wynonna reassured her, “You used to work there. Feels like forever ago.”

“Two years.” Nicole offered. “It’s been about two years. The bar has changed hands a few times,” Nicole started to fill Waverly in on her shirt’s namesake, “Now, it's run by us, Jeremy and Robin. A few others lend a hand when they can.” Nicole finished off her coffee, seeing Wynonna’s was already empty. “How about we head over and lend the boys a hand today.” Gesturing to herself and Wynonna, “We will go get ready for the day, while Waves finishes her coffee.”

Wynonna nodded and headed back to her bedroom. Nicole gave a quick smile to Waverly as she headed to the bag she had put together in the living room from all her stuff that had been in Waverly’s bedroom.

“ _ Waves _ .” Waverly whispered to herself, recognition flickering just a moment in her eyes.

-

"We can’t put free jazz on the jukebox.” Jeremy said as Robin tried to convince him for the thousandth time.

“Why not?” The blonde pouted slightly, trying to win his boyfriend over, the scar over his upper lip pulling with the expression.

“Because free jazz sounds like Nedley’s bathroom after he eats bad Indian food.” Wynonna interjected as the girls walked in.

“Ya know, I’m right here.” Nedley spoke as he stood up from behind the bar.

“Am I wrong?”

Nedley sighed and looked at Robin, “She’s not wrong.”

“See babe? No free jazz.” Jeremy smiled but softened the blow with a hand to Robin’s cheek, the scars on his knuckles showing prominently, pulling him in for a quick kiss as the boy frowned. 

Nedley turned to Nicole as she stepped up next to him behind the bar. “Taps are working well and filled. This morning mostly just inventory needs to be done since  _ someone _ ” Nedley looked accusingly at Wynonna, “taught Jeremy and Robin to just fill the glasses with liquor rather than an actual pour.”

Nicole chuckled and rolled her eyes, “Got it. And I’ll teach the boys how to properly serve.”

Nedley gave a quick nod of his head as he headed towards the door. “Oh, and Doc is upstairs. He’s making sure the apartment is in working order. Told him he could stay there if he wanted, seeing as technically this bar belongs to him.” Before walking out, Nedley passed by Wynonna giving her a squeeze to the shoulder, the unspoken bond they had developed looking for Nicole, Jeremy and Robin showing through.

“Okay children,” Nicole said as she gathered the other four around the bar. “This is how you _properly_ pour.” She grabbed a bottle of whiskey and a glass. Nicole was watching the amber liquid fill the bottom of the glass when suddenly she felt a hand tilt the bottle up. Confused, she looked up and saw Waverly holding the whiskey.

“You were gonna go over.” Waverly shrugged. “Pull up sooner and the last bit that you don’t catch with the pull will finish out the pour.”

Nicole looked down at the glass before holding it up to see how much alcohol was in it. Waverly was right. It was a perfect pour.

“Well then,” Nicole smiled, “looks like Waverly will be the one to teach you how to pour.” Nicole winked and let her dimples show to the brunette.

Waverly smiled, feeling good at the idea of being able to do something. She walked around to the other side of the bar, exchanging a small look with Nicole before grabbing different glasses and bottles to show the others the basics, letting pure instinct and muscle memory take over.

Nicole leaned against the back of the bar, watching Waverly work for a moment before moving into the back room to take inventory.

About 30 minutes into the bartending lesson, the stairs creaked, signaling Doc’s arrival.

“Morning everybody.” Doc said, tipping his hat towards the group. “Don’t mind if I do.” Doc spoke as he grabbed the glass Waverly had just poured and knocked it back.”

“John Henry.” Waverly playfully scolded him, reaching out to gently smack his shoulder.

“Sorry, Miss Waverly.” He grabbed her hand, raising it gently as he bowed to her before placing the glass back on the counter. He turned towards the others, “I am looking for a scrap piece of wood, one of the shelves upstairs is falling apart and I am hoping to repair it.”

“Uh, yeah,” Robin said, a little awestruck at the interaction. “Probably some in the basement.”

“Much obliged.” Doc said, making his way to the basement.

“Wow,” Jeremy said after he left. “I tried to nudge him like that earlier and he nearly broke my wrist, he pushed my hand away so hard.”

Waverly looked silently at the glasses in front of her, using a rag to wipe out the now empty glass Doc had drunk.

“Some people just don’t wanna be touched sometimes.” Wynonna offered, trying to ease the conflict she could see on her sister’s face.

“Yeah, guess that makes sense.” Jeremy shrugged it off.

Waverly gave a grateful smile to her sister. “Anyways back to the lesson,” Waverly started, “next I’m gonna show how to make – oh, looks like we are out of banana liquor.”

“Yo, Haught!” Wynonna raised her voice to get the red-head’s attention.

Nicole walked out of the back room with the inventory list in hand. “Yes?”

“Any of that banana stuff back there?”

“Nope, but there should be some downstairs.” Nicole turned to Waverly. “I’m guessing you need it for something? Wynonna normally won’t go near the stuff.”

Waverly just nodded.

“I’ll run downstairs and grab a few bottles.” Nicole smiled and headed for the basement.

“Oh fudgenuggets, I needed an extra bottle of whiskey too.” Waverly said as Nicole disappeared into the basement.

“I got it.” Wynonna said as she followed Nicole. She knew she would need the liquid courage if she was gonna try to talk to Doc today.

Nicole stepped into the basement and saw Doc on the ground, using a hammer to help break apart some wood that had been glued together.

“Hey Doc, just here to grab -“ Nicole’s words died in her throat as she realized what Doc was destroying.

“Just getting these planks free, need them for the apartment and it seems like this wasn’t bein’ used on account of the dust over it.” Doc said casually.

“Haughtstuff, Waves said she needs another bottle of whiskey.” Wynonna said as she walked down the stairs behind Nicole.

Nicole turned to block Wynonna from seeing Doc. “Okay.” She rushed the words out, “I’ve got it. Just – go back upstairs now.”

“What?” Wynonna looked at her best friend. “No, you’re gonna grab the regular crap, I know where the real stuff is.” She pushed past Nicole and stopped dead at the sight of Doc.

Doc, holding up a plank of wood.

Doc, squatted on the ground.

Doc, holding a hammer.

Doc, with the remnants of a destroyed cradle at his feet.

“What are you  _ doing _ ?” Wynonna’s voice shook.

Doc looked up at her confused. “Said I needed some planks for upstairs. This looked like it had seen better days but the sides were still good. Few good strikes to the ends to loosen the glue and nails was all it took. They’ll work perfect. Gonna go tell Robin thanks for letting me find some scrap down here.” And with that, Doc headed back upstairs.

Wynonna just stared at the broken pieces on the ground. Dented and splintered. “He doesn’t remember.” She whispered, her voice broken with the tears now streaming down her face.

Nicole watched her best friend, “Neither of them do.”

Wynonna moved to the pieces of wood, falling to her knees beside them.

“It’ll be okay -“ Nicole started as she walked towards her best friend.

“No!” Wynonna screamed at her. “You don’t understand! I can deal with them not remembering me. I can take that pain.” Wynonna’s voice trembled with anger as the tears fell from her eyes. “He doesn’t remember Alice!” Wynonna picked up a piece of wood from the floor and threw it across the room, a large bang echoing through the basement as it hit the wall.

Wynonna collapsed to the ground. Nicole moved as quickly as her feet could carry her towards Wynonna. She grabbed the brunette and pulled her into her lap, wrapping her arms around the girl quickly, letting her cry into her neck.

“Shh. Shh,” Nicole whispered as she stroked Wynonna’s hair. “We will find a way for him to remember. I promise.” Nicole placed a small kiss to Wynonna’s forehead. “I promise.”

They stayed like that for a few minutes before Wynonna moved.

Nicole kept her grip tight, “You sure?”

“Yeah, let’s get upstairs before the boys see me crying. I don’t think I can live with that. How else am I gonna be able to keep scaring Jeremy?” Wynonna joked as she stood up and held out a hand to help Nicole.

"I’m sure you can think of something. How about we tell him our stories with non-sexy werewolves so he can stop talking about the merits of the wolves in Twilight?” The red-head offered, helping Wynonna recover.

"That’s what I’m talking about Haught-shot. I can fall apart later, okay? Right now, whiskey and that disgusting banana crap.”

-

Shorty’s was in full swing, the work day over and most kids in bed, the late night crowd was bustling. Waverly and Jeremy were running the bar, working together just as well as they always had. Robin was bussing where he could and running any extra stock. Nicole was just trying to keep an eye on everything. Even though she mostly just lingered on Waverly.

It was as if her smile and wave were instinctual. The same beautiful and relaxed persona she had always had. The only difference is that she wouldn’t let her arms linger on the bartop, not letting anyone near enough to touch her. Nicole noticed, but she doubted anyone else did. The nicest person in purgatory was back and no one seemed to realize just how long she had been gone.

Nicole’s focus shifted to Wynonna, getting close to drunk, playing pool with the York boys. Nicole watched her take a shot of whiskey before draping herself over the table to line up her shot. The eyeline shift of Pete and Kyle was hard to miss. Nicole rolled her eyes at them, looking back to the bar to check on Waves and Jer.

“Whoa, boy. Not interested.” Nicole heard Wynonna’s voice carry from across the room.

Nicole turned back to see Wynonna twisted around, her butt nearly on the pool table while Pete stood close to her, essentially pinning her there.

“Come on, Wy. We can be 19 again. Make up for my birthday.” Pete said, reaching for her hips.

Before Nicole could even move she saw a flash of silver and the man now standing behind Pete.

"I believe,” Doc said, pressing his knife harder against the neck of the boy in front of him, “the lady said no.”

Nicole could see Pete gulp from across the room. He held his hands up into the air and walked away.

Wynonna looked at Doc, before turning and heading to the bar to get another shot. He followed close behind her.

-

“Can I get two shots of whiskey?” Wynonna tapped her hands on the counter. Waverly quickly poured two and sent them her way.

“Are you okay, Miss?” Doc spoke, moving to Wynonna’s side, letting his elbow rest on the bar top.

Wynonna scoffed before downing one of the shots. “Ahhh,” she breathed out, letting the burn of the liquor quell the storm inside her. “Peachy.” She answered tightly.

Doc reached for the second shot, “Hey now.” He looked at Wynonna as she took it from his hand, “This is mine.” She held Doc’s gaze as the second round of amber liquid disappeared down her throat.

“My apologies ma’am.” He smiled and tipped his hat, letting his natural charm shine through.

Wynonna just stared back at him, trying not to let the wall she had just put up come crumbling down. But then those baby blue eyes caught her and it was a fatal chip in her armor. Her eyes softened in his gaze, a true smile gracing her lips for the first time in nearly nine months.

“How about a parlor game?” Doc asked, his eyes shining with boyish energy. “Now, I know you’re a pool shark but how about a round of darts?”

Wynonna tilted her head, trying to see if her mind would scream this was a bad idea louder than her body and heart were screaming it was a good one. “Sure cowboy. If you win, I just might give you your guns back.” Wynonna rested her hands on the dual pistols strapped around her hips. She hadn’t stopped wearing them since he dropped them for her on the ground of the forest.

“And if you win?” Doc smiled at her.

“To be determined.”

“Lead the way.” Doc held his hand out towards the dartboard, following after Wynonna.

Wynonna caught Nicole’s eye as she walked across the bar. The red-head just raised an eyebrow, checking in. Wynonna smiled slightly, letting Nicole know everything was okay.

“Keep the pistols, they look good on you.” Doc winked, “Ladies first,” he said as he handed the darts over to Wynonna.

-

Last call came before anyone expected it. The night had passed quickly and soon the bar was being wiped off and chairs turned over.

Robin and Jeremy had taken the last of the dishes into the back room to finish up the washing. Waverly was sweeping behind the bar. Nicole was taking note of what needed restocking before she went to the basement to grab the inventory for tomorrow. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Wynonna and Doc close together, still by the dart board. She had her back rested against the wall, his arm propped against it over her shoulder. Close together and speaking softly.

Nicole smiled sadly. She was happy she could see just by looking at Wynonna the relaxation in her body, as if for a moment the last year of her life with Doc wasn’t what it was. She wished nothing more than for her best friend to be able to stay in this moment, because she was so afraid of what the next moment would bring.

“I’m running down to grab this stuff. Be back in a sec.” Nicole spoke softly to Waverly as she motioned to the inventory list. Waverly just nodded her head in response.

Nicole walked down the steps and was halfway done gathering bottles before she heard a scream, followed by Waverly shouting “Nicole!”

She dropped the bottles she was holding and raced up the stairs, taking them two at a time.

She rushed through the doorway to take in the scene. Jeremy and Robin were just poking their heads out of the back room to see what was going on. Wynonna still had her back against the wall by the dart board, now cradling her right hand and staring at the man in front of her, backed up against the pool table. Doc was braced against the table, face contorted in pain, his clothes seemed to be smoking. Waverly stood in front of him, her hand stretched to him to comfort him, but her body braced. Even in her panicked state Nicole understood this, Waverly was protecting Wynonna.

“She’s burned.” Waverly said quickly over her shoulder to Nicole, before turning back to the man in front of her. “John Henry Holliday.” Waverly’s voice was even. “Look at me.” Her voice held a slight command.

Nicole moved to Wynonna’s side to assess her hand as they watched the scene unfold.

Doc held his face up, locking onto the young brunette.

“Breathe.” Waverly spoke again, her arm reaching farther forward. Her arm movement caused her shirt to slip off her shoulder, the  _ paradise  _ becoming visible to everyone in the room.

Doc grunted as he tried to stand up straight, taking a deep breath. “I can’t.” He gritted through his teeth, moving to shed his vest before going to unbutton the shirt that was beneath it. When the last one released his chest expanded as if his lungs were getting air after hours under water.

Nicole heard Wynonna gasp next to her, seeing Doc’s chest and abdomen covered in scars. Scars similar to the ones Nicole saw on Waverly.

“Give me your hand.” Waverly’s voice broke the silence.

“The pain, Waverly.” Doc looked like he couldn’t decide between what he was feeling currently and whatever was to come.

“Hand, John Henry. I can take it, but we both know you will not recover without me.”

Doc painfully sighed, before fully shedding his shirt. Showing a brand matching Waverly’s,  _ paradise _ , directly over his heart. He reached his hand forward to Waverly, extending so that they were both grasping the others forearm, almost at the elbow. They held eye contact, before Doc gave a slight nod and Waverly rotated their grasp, Doc’s forearm now under hers.

The air in the room felt like it thickened as the others watched. Suddenly, the brands started to burn, bright orange, as if they were being seared into the skin with invisible metal. Waverly’s face tightened, the girl clearly in pain. Doc’s was equally tense, but still significantly better than it had been just a moment ago.

“Temperance.” Waverly’s voice melded with Doc’s as they spoke together, strained yet strong. Their gaze unbreakable.

“Adoration.”

“Kings.” As they spoke the final word, Doc turned their hold, his arm now over Waverly’s.

The glow on each brand started to fade, leaving the skin red around the words. Before long, even the redness faded, as if the brands had been in their skin forever.

Doc let out a relieved breath.

“Better?” Waverly asked, her voice now soft.

“Yes.” Doc answered her, sliding his hand off her forearm, before catching her fingers in his hand, raising it to bow to her slightly, echoing his movement from earlier this morning.

Waverly smiled at him, “You will sleep at the homestead tonight. We don’t know if being out here will change this, I want you close by.”

Doc nodded, “I’ll be in the barn, I promise to call for you.”

Waverly turned to the boys, still standing in the doorway. “Will you two make sure he gets back safely?”

Robin hit Jeremy in the arm to break him out of just staring at the two. “Y-Yeah. Of course, Waverly. We’ve got him.”

Waverly nodded to them before turning to Wynonna and Nicole. Walking forward slowly, she gently reached forward, her eyes on Wynonna questioning.

Wynonna gently held her burned hand out, allowing Waverly to take it. Her hands both softer and rougher than Wynonna remembered them being.

Waverly looked up to Nicole, the question in her head easy to read in her eyes.

“It’ll be okay. It’s only minor. But it will probably need to be wrapped and cooled.” The red-head spoke quietly, letting her training get her through the words, not relying on the disbelief currently clouding her mind.

“Let’s get home then.” Waverly spoke softly and gently began to guide Wynonna to the door, still caring for the hand she was holding. Nicole followed them close by, grabbing jackets and keys, before turning to give one final nod goodbye to the boys.

When the girls arrived at the homestead, Nicole immediately went about putting antibiotic ointment and wrapping gauze loosely around the burn on Wynonna’s hand.

“Now, you will wanna put something cold on this for a little while.” Nicole said, looking at her best friend and wishing she could help the agony she could see written on her face. This is the moment she was scared of earlier. The moment she has been scared of for months. The moment that Wynonna let herself break.

Wynonna just nodded blankly before moving to the freezer and grabbing out a bottle of whiskey. Holding it with her injured hand she raised it to Nicole before taking a swig and walking out to the living room.

“What happened back there?” Nicole turned to ask Waverly.

Waverly took a deep breath, running her fingers through her hair, gently shaking it out. “She touched him. Placed her hand against his chest, against –“

“Paradise.” Nicole whispered.

Waverly’s eyes unfocused for just a moment before she nodded solemnly. “It burned at her touch, hot enough to burn her through his clothes.”

“So, they  _ were _ smoking when I came up, I thought I was seeing things.” Nicole took a deep breath, “Why? Why did it burn?” Her voice was hesitant, unsure whether or not she wanted to know the answer.

“I –“ Waverly looked up into Nicole’s eyes, “I’m not sure. I have an idea, but –“ Her gaze fell to the floor, “I need time. Time to figure it out. Time to process it.”

Nicole closed her eyes, fighting tears at the thought of still being useless to help Waverly. “Okay.” She whispered. She opened her eyes to find hazel ones staring back at her, “Whatever you need, at whatever pace you need it.”

Waverly smiled softly at her, the brunette’s eyebrows raising slightly at the love she felt from the other woman.

“I should go check on her.” Nicole moved to follow after Wynonna before a hand landed on her upper arm.

“I’ve got her. I’m okay. And I’m the one she needs right now. I can feel it.” Waverly looked up at Nicole, watching the conflict play out across Nicole’s features.

Reluctantly, she nodded.

“Keep a lookout for the boys okay? Make sure they get back safe.” Waverly moved her hand up and gently rubbed her fingers against Nicole’s face. It took everything within the officer’s power not to lean into the touch. “And then take care of yourself. You need a shower and rest. Take my room tonight,” Nicole opened her mouth to protest but Waverly cut her off, “I need to keep watch over Wynonna and Doc tonight. I won’t be using it anyways. Take it.” Waverly let her hand fall from Nicole’s face and turned to follow her sister to the living room.

Nicole sighed, running her fingers through her hair. She shrugged her jacket on to go check that everything was in order for Doc in the barn, hearing the car tires signaling the arrival of the boys.

Wynonna sighed as she kicked the whiskey bottle away from her. She was exhausted, her hand hurt, and for some reason she decided that sitting on the floor in front of the window seat was a better option than the couch.

Waverly caught the rolling bottle with her foot, stopping its progress across the floor. “That can’t be a comfortable position.” She said to her older sister, grabbing the whiskey bottle. “Room down there for one more?”

Wynonna just shrugged, allowing Waverly to sit down next to her. Holding the whiskey bottle, Waverly placed it back into Wynonna’s hand, knowing it was needed to heal the burn.

“Are you okay?” Waverly asked cautiously, even though she already knew the answer.

“No. Furious.” Wynonna replied immediately, her voice full of pain. “Hurt. Scared. I don’t know what to do Waverly. I’ve screwed up a lot of things in my life, and most of the time I wasn’t given a choice but to screw-up. And I wasn’t given a choice in this-“ Wynonna’s voice broke. “I love him.”

“I know. And I know this is overwhelming, for everyone.” Waverly spoke softly while she reached out to stroke Wynonna’s hair.

“I can’t do this.” Wynonna spoke through tears, “I can’t lose him over and over again.”

Waverly turned her sister’s face towards her, using her thumbs to gently wipe away her tears. “I’m not saying it's going to be okay…. I’m just saying – I’m here.”

Wynonna cried harder, her uninjured hand curling tighter around the piece of paper she had grabbed off the mantle when she got home. Waverly turned her in her arms, allowing Wynonna to lay her head in her lap. One arm curled against her stomach, her burned hand holding the bottle, and the other outstretched beneath her, holding a crinkled piece of yellowed paper, Doc’s faded writing soft on the page.

Waverly held her crying sister, stroking her hair. She felt the brand on her shoulder start to burn, and her scars started to feel as if they were being made anew. She closed her eyes and breathed, working through the pain and forcing her wings to stay hidden. She knew she needed to be with Wynonna, and she wouldn’t let her need to heal take that away.

The pain intensified but Waverly kept control. Tears streamed from her eyes silently, she just held her sister tighter, letting the sensation of soft hair through her fingers ground her. Suddenly, she saw flashes of this same room.

_ Wynonna in red. A sheet of paper. A very pregnant sister laying in her lap.  This poor asshole.  _ Waverly heard Wynonna’s voice in her head.

Suddenly the pain stopped, but Waverly’s tears kept falling. Not from pain, but from happiness. Because now, Waverly  _ remembered.  _ Just that one night, over a year ago, but she remembered it. A small smile graced her lips as she stroked her now sleeping sister’s hair. “One down ‘Nonna.” She whispered, “Thousands to go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the read, kudos, comments, or even just clicking the link. Love you, Earpers.
> 
> Feel free to come chat with me on Twitter @sheriff_earper


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waverly has an idea, and she needs Jeremy and Robin to help her.

Around 4am, Waverly heard footsteps and the tell-tale creak of the stairs. She sipped her tea, gazing out the living room window at the barn.

Nicole wandered into the living room, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Waverly let herself take in the image of the woman she knew in her heart was special to her. This woman who looked beautiful in an old police academy t-shirt and sweatpants, riding low on her hips. Her wavy hair tousled out of place from sleep.

“Hey Waves,” her voice was rough with tiredness, “have you been awake this whole time?”

Waverly closed her eyes for a moment, sipping her tea, letting the voice wash over her. The name Waves sounding like it should always be spoken by her voice. It wrapped around Waverly like the warmth of a hug.

“Yeah.” Waverly finally answered, looking briefly at Nicole before turning back towards the barn. “I put Wynonna to bed a few hours ago. But I wanted to keep an eye on John Henry. What are you doing awake?”

Nicole rubbed the back of her neck, “I don’t really sleep longer than a few hours anymore. Can’t seem to stay asleep.” She shrugged. “How’s he doing?” Nicole moved towards her, close enough to look out the window but not to touch.

“He seems fine. He was awake for a while after you and the boys left him, but he seems to have calmed. Hopefully by the time he wakes, he will be perfectly fine.”

They sat there in silence for a few moments. Waverly could feel Nicole’s eyes on her, could sense how much restraint the other girl was exercising so that she wouldn’t reach out to touch her.

“Soon.” Waverly said softly.

“What?”

Waverly took a deep breath before turning to meet Nicole’s eyes, getting caught in her powerful gaze. “Soon, I will talk to you about everything. About how I think Doc and I can get our memories back. Soon,” Waverly extended a shaky hand to cover Nicole’s, “you won’t have to be scared to touch me. And I won’t have to be scared to be touched.”

Tears threatened to fall from Nicole’s eyes as she took in the feeling of Waverly’s hand on hers. The softness and warmth she had missed for months. Too quickly, the feeling was gone, Waverly’s hand sliding slowly off of hers. Nicole quickly brushed away the tears that had fallen and cleared the thickness in her throat.

“You might want this.” Nicole’s voice was soft as she reached for the chain around her neck, hidden under the shirt she wore.

Waverly watched as the long chain was pulled out completely, revealing the large, black oval ring the chain was holding.

“It was your dad’s. And then yours. You gave it to me right before you left. It’s an angel’s ring. It helped restore his memories. Maybe it’ll help with yours.” Nicole moved to take the necklace off, but Waverly’s hands stopped her.

She reached forward, placing her fingers on the ring. She closed her eyes, as she was flooded with memories of Julian. Her father.

“Julian.” She whispered. She didn’t feel any pain from her brand, seemingly protected by the ring in remembering another angel.

Waverly opened her eyes as the memories tapered off, fully finding their places in her mind. She smiled at Nicole. “I think that ring just showed me all it is going to for now. But thank you for giving me back my moments with my dad.” She gently took the necklace and let it drop back underneath the collar of Nicole’s shirt, “Keep this safe for me, please?”

Nicole nodded, swallowing hard at the proximity to Waverly. “Um, the sun will be up in just a few hours. Go get some sleep okay? I promise to keep watch and get you if anything happens.” Nicole offered a soft smile at the brunette.

Waverly smiled back, giving a gentle nod before heading up the stairs.

Nicole sighed deeply as she gazed back out at the barn. “Soon,” she whispered to herself, lightly dragging her fingers across the hand Waverly had touched.

-

Waverly walked into Shorty’s with a purpose. She knew today was going to be a lot. She tugged nervously at the big blue coat she had wrapped around her, the bottom of it coming to her mid-thigh, sweatpants covering the rest of her legs.

“Hey Waverly!” Jeremy’s chipper voice rang out from behind the bar as he wiped out glasses in preparation for later in the day. “Why all the layers? I know you get cold easy but this is definitely crop-top Waverly weather.”

“Um –“ Waverly started to answer, not really sure how to explain it.

“Oh,” Jeremy’s eyes widened, “Sorry, that was totally not cool. Dammit, my bad.” Jeremy rushed to apologize.

“No. No, it’s okay. Honestly, it is. But there is a reason for the outfit. Any chance you can get the day off?” Waverly’s voice was a bit hesitant, concerned Jeremy wouldn’t be able to help her.

“Yeah, just let me text Nicole and Wy. They can cover it for the day. What’s going on?” Jeremy asked as he typed the message on his phone.

“I just need your help with something. And maybe Robin too.” Waverly answered, not wanting to give too many details right away.

“Of course, Waves. We are at your disposal.” Jeremy’s phone dinged, “And you have our undivided attention, Nicole said they’ve got it.”

“Perfect.” Waverly smiled, “Now, I know Nicole heard me yesterday with the door to the basement open. But is it still sound-proofed when closed?” Waverly’s nerves filtered into her question, causing Jeremy to furrow his brow at her.

“Yeeaaahhh,” Jeremy’s voice dragged the word. “Kept it just in case we ever have to keep anything unruly down there. Easier than closing Shorty’s. Why Waverly? What are we doing?” Jeremy asked, concern lacing his voice.

“Hopefully,” Waverly let out a breath, “getting some of my memories back.”

Jeremy’s eyes widened. “What? You – you can do that?” He moved around the counter towards her.

"Yeah, I think I can. But you remember what Doc was like last night? The pain he was in?” Waverly asked, seeing Jeremy make the connection.

“Waverly, no.” He shook his head. “There has –“

“There isn’t.” Waverly cut him off. “I got a memory of Wynonna back last night. It was small, just a few minutes really. And the pain was –“ Waverly trailed off, her body instinctively flinching. “Well, let’s just say that the soundproofing is going to be necessary if they are all going to be like that.”

“Waverly.” Jeremy’s voice was soft, his eyes catching hers. The love of their friendship showing deeply in his gaze. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Waverly nodded firmly. “You and Robin, my memories of you. I know that I love you both, but honestly –“

“We are easier to try to get back compared to Wynonna. To Nicole.” He finished for her.

Waverly nodded. “The last time a memory of Nicole tried to break the surface of my mind, it felt like my body was being torn apart. It took me hours to recover and that was with me shutting it out almost immediately.” Waverly wrapped her arms around herself at the memory. “I’m hoping that with getting you and Robin back first, it will make getting the rest of my memories of Nicole and Wynonna easier.”

Jeremy looked at her for a moment before nodding sharply. “You got it Waves. Me and Robin will do whatever we need to.”

“What are we doing?” Robin asked as he came down from the apartment, Doc shortly behind him. He wiped his forehead with a bandana before sticking it into his back pocket. “Cupboards are all fixed up. Just a few more tweaks to the place and it’ll be livable.” Robin walked over to them, placing a quick kiss to Jeremy’s cheek and sliding his arm over Jeremy’s shoulders.

“Waverly needs our help today.” Jeremy answered, letting his arm find its place around Robin’s waist. “She wants to try to get some of her memories back. And we can help.”

Robin’s eyes widened at the idea, “Of course! Anything to help.” He smiled sweetly at Waverly.

“Miss Waverly.” Doc’s voice broke into the conversation. Waverly turned to face him, noting the seriousness in his voice. “Are you sure you want to do this? You know what it was like to retain just those few memories of each other.”

“I can do this.” She answered, stepping towards him. “I need to do this. And then, we can work to get yours.” She placed her hand gently on his cheek, reaching up to press a kiss to the other. Pulling back she schooled her features into a serious expression, “But I need your help today. I’m taking the boys into the basement to work. Wynonna and Nicole are running the bar. They can NOT be allowed in the basement. You understand John Henry?”

“Yes.” He answered solemnly. “I’ll keep them away from it. Swear on my life.”

“Thank you.” Waverly looked at him with a soft smile. “Okay,” she spoke as she turned back to the others, “Ready?”

Jeremy and Robin nodded as they followed Waverly to the basement, letting the door shut behind them.

Waverly stood awkwardly for a moment in the center of the room, before sighing and turning toward Jeremy and Robin. “Okay, first things first. You guys have to see –“ Her words failed her. “Well, you just have to see.” Waverly moved to take off the coat covering her, shedding it to reveal the crop-top she was wearing, off the shoulder sleeves and a high cut meant that the majority of her upper body was visible.

Jeremy quickly slapped his hands over his eyes, “What? Waverly, what are you doing?”

Robin, used to seeing Waverly in crop tops all his life, noticed immediately what Waverly wanted them to see. “Jeremy.” He said quietly.

Waverly moved to slide her sweatpants down her body, revealing the shorts underneath them and the legs that they were hiding. She tossed the clothes to the side, staring at the ground and fidgeting her hands. This was the first time she was showing people see the scars the garden had given her, and she had never felt more exposed in her life.

“Waverly.” Robin’s voice was flooded with disbelief.

Jeremy slowly lowered his hand from his face to look at his best friend. He gasped as he looked at the jagged scars wrapping her legs, seeing the others on her torso. Tears filled his eyes, as he realized the damage that had to be done for them to exist.

Waverly slowly looked up at them, letting them make eye contact with her before turning and letting them see the scars across her back.

“Paradise.” She heard Jeremy whisper as he saw her brand.

She turned back to fully face them and took a deep breath. “I don’t know how to talk about what happened in there. I barely remember, and all I remember of how I got these is the pain. I have no idea what happened.”

“Doc has those too.” Robin spoke with reverence.

Waverly nodded, “Yes, he does. All I know is that when we start to remember something, two things happen. Our brands burn, and depending on the strength of the memory, our scars can reflect the same pain into our bodies as we felt when we got them.”

Jeremy and Robin just watched her as she spoke. Waverly moved around the room grabbing a towel and a chair before placing them in the center. She sat down, resting the towel over the back of the chair.

“Okay. Rules. Number 1: Don’t touch me unless I say so, I can’t control myself completely when it happens and if my body tries to protect itself, I won’t be able to get the memory. 2: Don’t hold back if I ask you for something, I can handle it I promise. 3: If my wings come out to shield me, and ONLY THEN, get Nicole. Don’t tell her or Wynonna what we are doing, just get Nicole and tell her I need her like last time. She will know what to do.” Waverly tried to keep an even tone in her voice, trying to swallow the nerves and fear she felt at the idea of what she was about to endure.

“You got it.” Robin nodded.

“We’ve got you Waves.” Jeremy answered with a slight smile.

Waverly smiled at the boys, knowing how much they loved her to be willing to do this. And hopefully, she would soon feel that love in return.

“Jeremy, I want you first.”

Jeremy stepped forwards towards his best friend while Robin went and sat on the end of the steps.

“What would you like, boss?” Jeremy smiled, trying to lighten the mood.

“Remind me of the first time we met. Was it just us? No one else around, right?”

“Yep, at BBD. I was –“ Jeremy crossed the room to grab one of his white lab coats he had used down here. Sliding it over his shoulders, he faced Waverly. “I was working in their lab. Full of creatures and demons, when you came in. Speaking in a horrible British accent, trying to grab my attention long enough to look at the security system. You were trying to figure out how to unlock all the doors in the building at once, with some pretty bad lying about knowing the system as well.” He chuckled as he continued telling the story. “After I showed you a few commands, you grabbed –“

Waverly focused deeply on his words, letting the image of him in a lab coat flood her mind before closing her eyes, trying to place the words into pictures. Opening her mind to let the memory surface.

_ A cold, metal room. Cages on one side. _

Her brand began to burn, letting her know she was on the right path. Waverly grit her teeth, focusing in harder. Another version of Jeremy’s voice hit her mind.

_ Do you mean the S-550? _

She focused on the new voice surprised at hearing her own in return, albeit in a different accent.

_ I’m British, not elderly. _

Waverly felt the burning on her shoulder intensify, glad she wore a shirt that left it uncovered. She felt her right calf start to tingle, before it felt like it was being torn open. She gasped as she looked down at her leg, seeing only the scars there, but feeling as if the thorny vines that created them were still wrapped around her leg.

Her breathing was labored, she could feel the sweat on her brow, her body working overtime to compensate for the pain. She clenched her jaw, letting the rest of the memory flood her senses.

Robin watched with rapt attention as Jeremy finished speaking, seeing the tightness within Waverly’s body, clearly in pain. He could see the glow from her brand, signaling its burning. He felt his heart break for her, knowing this was the first step in a very long process.

Jeremy’s voice trailed off as he finished recounting the memory, his eyes fixed on Waverly. Waiting.

Waverly watched as her mind reached the edges of the memory, unable to break through the fog to get to what followed. She felt as her leg relaxed, the pain gone. Her shoulder was still warm, but no longer burning. She took several deep inhales, trying to calm her breathing. Opening her eyes, Waverly looked up to find Jeremy standing just a few steps in front of her, concern lacing every feature on his face.

She smiled at him, “How did I not realize you were gay right then? I mean, I tried EVERYTHING.”

A huge smile lit up Jeremy’s face, “It worked!!”

Robin clapped from the stairs, unable to keep the smile from his face.

Waverly smiled at the boys, the joy she felt at the memory outweighing the pain she had felt retrieving it. “I remember. I can remember meeting you.”

“It’s a good memory.” Jeremy answered, “Even if sometimes I can still feel where you hit me in the head.” He chuckled as he rubbed the back of his head.

Waverly stood to slap him on the arm, but as soon as she was upright, dizziness rushed over her and she fell back into the chair. Jeremy dropped his smile and was quickly squatted in front of her. Robin had moved immediately from the steps, now just a few feet away from the pair.

“Waves?” Jeremy spoke softly. “You okay?”

Waverly put her hand to her forehead, squeezing her eyes together before taking a breath and looking at the boys. “Yeah,” she answered, “just need to make sure I’ve fully recovered before sudden movements.”

“I’ll go up and get you some water okay?” Robin spoke as he moved toward them, letting his hand come to rest on Jeremy’s shoulder. “And some vegan snacks. My guess is that we will be down here for a while.”

Jeremy looked up at his boyfriend with a smile and a mouthed “Thank you.” He took Robin’s hand, giving it a quick kiss, before the blonde headed up the stairs.

Hours passed as the three of them continued working in the basement. Recovering memory after memory, researching with Jeremy, introducing him and Robin at the police station, a very weird moment in the kitchen involving Robin licking a potato. That last memory had gaps around it though, which the boys explained as Nicole being there.

Waverly was spent. Her breathing was ragged and labored at best. They had resorted to icing her shoulder after every memory to try and protect the skin around the brand from staying so heated that it would cause damage. The scars on her legs were irritated and red. Jeremy theorized that the nerves triggered for the pain must be causing the area to act as if it was actually hurt, explaining why the scars were slightly swollen as well.

“Waves, you’ve done amazing today.” Jeremy said, squeezing her hand that rested in his. She had reached for him after the past few memories for support through the pain. “We can stop.”

“No.” She shook her head. “I can keep going.” She took a deep breath. “Robin.” She looked at the boy, “Any chance you still have your letterman jacket from school?”

Robin looked at her, knowing what she was asking. “I do, but Waverly, those are huge memories. Are you sure you don’t want to wait for another day?”

“I can do it, I promise.” Waverly nodded at the boy.

“Okay. I’ve gotta run home to grab it. Shouldn’t be too long. 15, 20 minutes tops.” Robin placed a quick kiss to Jeremy’s head. “While I’m gone, you just recover. Drink water. Eat. You need your strength.”

Shorty’s was due to close up soon, and with Nicole and Wynonna in the bar, Doc now never left more than 10 feet between him and the door to the basement. They didn’t know Waverly was down there, but if they somehow figured it out, Doc knew he would have to stop them from interrupting. Doc saw as Robin slipped out of the basement, closing the door behind him. He gave a quick nod and small smile towards Doc. Wynonna and Nicole were distracted enough with patrons to miss the blonde as he made his way across Shorty’s and out the door.

Back in the basement, Jeremy sat on the floor in front of Waverly, holding her hand gently.

“Hey Jeremy?” She asked, her voice rough from the yelling some of the memories had caused.

“Yeah?”

“You and Robin. I’m happy for you.”

Jeremy couldn’t fight the smile that lit up his face, “Thanks. We wouldn’t have each other if it wasn’t for you.” He tightened his grip slightly.

Waverly smiled at him. “Can I ask a question?”

“Of course. What’s up, Waves?

“In all the memories we’ve worked through.” Waverly furrowed her brow, finding the words she wanted. “You two seem more –“

“Affectionate?” Jeremy filled in the word for her.

She nodded, “Did you not feel – comfortable before? Around me and the others? Did we do something?”

“No.” Jeremy wrapped both her hands in his. “Not at all. We were new in our relationship and just kept things toned down for a bit. But after everything that happened, Bulshar, you and Doc, Valdez… we just decided that we were gonna savor every moment and live our lives just the way we wanted to.”

Waverly nodded as she listened, confusion hitting her after a moment. “Valdez?”

Jeremy’s face fell. “Oh, yeah. I guess you wouldn’t know about that.”

Waverly tilted her head at him.

“Um, when you went to fight, right before being taken, Wynonna slipped Nicole, Robin, and myself a sedative. She didn’t want us to follow. But while we were out, this woman, Valdez, found us and took us. She held us for about a month. We were separated, held in some type of basement cell, with just a small window at the top.” Jeremy shivered, “Except for food being delivered, I had no contact with anyone. Literally nothing.” The boy’s eyes glazed over, as if he was transported back in that moment. “Then one day my door opened and there was Robin and Nicole. Both out of breath, Robin was bleeding - that scar on his lip - and Nicole looked like she had been through the ringer a few times herself; she was limping and her leg was bloody.”

Waverly felt her heart skip at the idea of Nicole hurt. At the idea of any of them hurt.

“And then we were out, tore up my hand in the process though.” He flexed his hand, showing off the scars on his knuckles. “I only know bits and pieces of how they got to me. And what they went through in there. It seems they treated us all different, testing us in ways they thought would break us. I nearly went out of my mind in there. I couldn’t hear or talk to anyone, but I could feel how scared they were at times. The only thing that helped was thinking about getting back to Robin.” Jeremy smiled weakly, “And then I did. Ever since, I don’t waste moments with him.”

Waverly held his hands tighter, “I’m sorry you went through that Jer.”

He sighed, “It’s over now at least. We’ve been keeping tabs on anything we find related to her, but so far it's been all quiet since we got out of there.”

“Well, I hope it stays that way.”

“Me too, Waves. Me too.”

Shorty’s had served last call, and Nicole and Wynonna were cleaning up by the time Robin returned. Nicole saw him come in the door, a blue letterman jacket in hand.

“Hey Robin, what are you doing here so late? I thought you and Jer were with Waves somewhere.” She asked as she wiped down the counter.

"Oh, yeah.” He worked to come up with an answer quickly. “Just needed to get something Jer left in the basement last time he was working on something.”

“What’s with the jacket, Jazz-Square?” Wynonna asked as she came up behind Robin, having just turned over the chairs at the tables near him.

“Oh –“

“Jeremy’s project can be a bit, irritatin’ to the skin.” Doc jumped in. “I’m sure Robin was told to bring the jacket to as extra protection.”

“Yep!” Robin agreed quickly, as he moved to the basement. The jacket caught slightly as he closed the door behind him, causing the latch not to take, leaving the smallest gap between the door and its jam.

“Robin –“ Nicole started, wondering what was going on with the blonde.

“Well, I’ll be damned, it looks like someone spilled a full pitcher on this pool table.” Doc quickly moved to distract the girls.

“Dammit, not again.” Nicole groaned.

“I’ll go get the towels. You get the cleaner.” Wynonna sighed as she went to the back storeroom.

Doc stayed near the pool table, hoping to maintain a distraction on the girls. A quick look at the door showed nothing out of the ordinary, the gap too small for Doc to notice.

-

Robin made his way down the stairs, finding Waverly and Jeremy in nearly the same position he had left them, the only difference being the empty water bottles and half eaten packs of veggie chips next to them.

“Got it.” He said as he lifted the jacket slightly. He walked over to them, placing a kiss to Jeremy’s head.

“Good.” Waverly sighed. “I’m gonna try to use you as a pivot point to get all of high school back.”

Robin’s eyes widened. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

Waverly nodded, “We were friends, you dated my best friend at the time. I cheered for the football team you played with… It’s gonna be a lot, but this is the best bet to get that whole chunk back at once.”

Jeremy stood, placing his hand against Robin’s back gently, moving him in front of Waverly. Robin swallowed harshly before speaking. “How can I help?”

“Put the jacket on.” She answered, standing in front of him.

He slid the jacket over his shoulders, watching as Waverly traced the lines of the collar with her fingers. Trailing her hands over the shoulders and arms.

“Touch memory. I must’ve touched letterman jackets every day of school. I’m working to recall that.” She explained as she continued to feel the fabric under her touch. “I need you to hug me, I need to focus on only you. And while I do, I need you to tell me everything you remember about our friendship and my life throughout high school. I will break the hug when I need to, but don’t stop speaking until the memories have ended okay?” She looked into Robin’s eyes, afraid because she knew how intense this would be if it worked.

“I’ve got you.” He nodded sharply, understanding the sheer amount of trust Waverly was putting in him.

Jeremy stepped away from the pair, giving them space he knew they needed.

Waverly took a deep breath and stepped into Robin’s arms, letting them tighten around her. She let her hands wrap around his waist, knowing this would be the best place to be able to break the hug from when she needed it.

She closed her eyes and let his voice wash over her, “We met freshman year, you had just started cheering…”

Waverly immediately felt the memories start to surface, the brand on her shoulder heating up within seconds. Images flashed through her mind,  _ a cheer uniform, football players, Chrissy and Stephanie smiling, hearing rumors about Wynonna, Champ winking at her from across the lunchroom _ .

Waverly pushed against Robin’s waist, breaking the hug to fall back into her seat. Every scar on her body felt like it was coming to life in the most excruciating way.  _ Her history teacher smiling while discussing ancient cultures with her after school, getting voted cheer captain, being announced as prom queen. _

Waverly gritted her teeth, her body felt like it was being torn open. She half expected to open her eyes to find that the scars were now open wounds. She could still here Robin speaking, letting the memories invade her senses.  _ Laughing with Robin while they listened to Jazz after a game, kissing Champ for the first time, being announced as valedictorian. _

Waverly screamed as the pain intensified, pushing through it to gather the remainder of the memories.

Upstairs, Wynonna and Nicole froze. Doc moved quickly, pushing the basement door closed, silencing the sound of Waverly in anguish. “Dammit.” He whispered to himself as he came under the glare of two women he certainly did not want to piss off.

“That was Waverly.” Nicole’s voice was hollow as she moved to stand directly in front of Doc.

“Doc?” Wynonna asked, her hand moving to one of the pistols at her side. “What was that?”

“It was Waverly.” Nicole repeated. Her eyes bore into Doc, fear and anger overwhelming her senses.

“Now, ladies. Just stay calm. You were not meant to hear that. But you cannot enter this basement. I am sorry. But I am under orders from Miss Waverly.” Doc tried to appease them but stood his ground in front of the door.

“John Henry.” Wynonna’s voice was cold. She raised a pistol to him, cocking it slowly, “If you don’t tell us what the HELL is going on with my baby sister, I will happily put a bullet in you and go find out myself.”

“Wynonna. As much as I do not want to be shot with my own gun, I made a promise. I assume she will tell the two of you what she has been up to today when she is ready. Until then,” He raised his hands, “if you must, shoot.”

Wynonna stared for a moment before uncocking the gun and re-holstering it at her hip. “It looks like we will be waiting here then.”

Doc nodded at her, turning to Nicole. “She is safe with them. I would not have let her do this with them if I didn’t think she was safe.”

Nicole’s eyes were empty, the terror and frustration she felt overwhelming her. She stood silent, staring at the door behind Doc.

After just a few minutes, the knob on the door turned, revealing Jeremy poking his head out. He cowered under the combined gaze of Nicole and Wynonna, before looking at Doc. “She’s asking for you.”

Doc nodded and turned to the other girls. “Now, I will leave this door open behind me, but you must promise not to come into the basement. Do we have a deal?”

The girls barely nodded, but Doc took it as an agreement. He patted Jeremy’s shoulder as he moved passed him. Descending into the basement, Doc could smell the remnants of burnt skin. He grimaced at how hot Waverly’s brand must have burned to cause it. He reached the last step and found the brunette curled on the ground. Robin had placed a wet towel across her forehead, ice on her brand, and was now giving her small sips of water from his crouched position near her.

Doc moved to take Robin’s spot, reaching out to gently stroke Waverly’s hair.

“Doc.” Waverly’s voice was hoarse, barely above a whisper.

“I am here my dear. What do you need?” He answered, knowing the girl was extremely weak.

“I got them all back.” Waverly had a small smile. “Every one that I tried for, I got them all back.”

“Good job, sweetheart. But you need to rest now.” He smiled back at her, hiding the sadness he felt at the amount of pain she must have gone through to get to this state. He could see all of her scars red and raw, the brand on her shoulder hot enough that he could see the area around it had nearly burned.

“I need you to carry me. Get me to the homestead. I can’t walk and no one else that lives there can carry me without triggering a memory.” Waverly’s voice was weak, her eyes closed as she spoke.

Doc moved to gently scoop her into his arms, securing her in a bridal carry, letting her head tuck under his chin. Robin followed them up the stairs, turning off the lights as he went.

When Doc came through the doorway to the basement, he saw Wynonna’s eyes widen at the sight of her sister. Nicole’s hand moved to cover her mouth, tears springing to her eyes. He felt Waverly move, seeing her hand reach out to Jeremy and Robin.

“Thank you. I’m glad I got you back.” Her voice was as soft as the smile that played across her lips.

Doc turned to the girls, “I believe the boys can close up. Miss Waverly asked to be taken to the homestead. I think she would like it if the two of you accompanied us.”

From her place on his chest, Waverly nodded. “I missed you, ‘Nonna.” She spoke, reaching for her sister's hand. “In high school. I missed you.”

Wynonna squeezed her hand, “I’m here now. I promise.”

Waverly smiled.

Doc cleared his throat and began towards the door, followed closely by Nicole and Wynonna.

The ride back to the homestead was quiet. Waverly stayed tucked into Doc in the backseat the entire way.

When they got home, Doc immediately moved to put Waverly to bed. Wynonna immediately moved to grab a swig from her favorite whiskey.

Nicole sighed, trying to process the state Waverly was in. Instinctively, she moved to the kitchen, grabbing a bowl of cool water. Then she grabbed a washcloth and the first aid kit and followed Doc to Waverly’s room. She found him as he was helping her to bed, the girl now in pajama shorts and a silk tank top.

"Hey.” Nicole’s voice was rough from the emotion caught in her throat. “I thought this might be helpful.” She raised her hands to show the items.

Doc nodded, motioning for her to come in. “Waverly,” He leaned close to the girl to whisper, “Nicole is here. She is gonna help me take care of you for a moment. Is that okay?”

Waverly nodded and smiled at Nicole’s name.

Nicole set the bowl down on the bedside table, letting the washcloth soak in it for a moment. Opening the first aid kit, she pulled out the burn ointment. She handed it to Doc, “For her shoulder.”

Doc took it and began to apply it to the affected area around Waverly’s brand. The skin was still warm to the touch.

Nicole rug out the rag, the cool water running through her fingers. She dabbed at Waverly’s forehead, before moving to run the rag gently across the irritated scars on her legs and across her torso. Working slowly, trying to calm the skin.

The efforts went by quickly. Doc finished with the burn, placed the tube back in the kit. Nicole moved to dab at Waverly’s forehead one last time and she felt Waverly’s fingers gently wrap around the hand not holding the rag.

Nicole moved to look at Waverly’s face, seeing the small smile on her lips. “I know it looks bad. But it’s progress.” Waverly moved Nicole’s hand to her lips, gently brushing a kiss against her knuckles. “Soon.” She whispered as she let go of Nicole’s hand and finally drifted off to sleep.

Nicole finally let the tears fall that she had been holding in since she saw Doc holding Waverly. “Soon.” She whispered back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the read, kudos, comments, or even just clicking the link. Love you, Earpers.
> 
> Feel free to come chat with me on Twitter @sheriff_earper


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Deal.” Waverly’s laugh was stronger this time. “How about today we work so I can get some of our memories back?”
> 
> Wynonna’s face filled with hope. “Yeah?”
> 
> “Yeah.”

Waverly felt the sun warm on her skin and she shifted in bed. She took a deep breath as she stretched her sore body, inhaling the scent of vanilla dipped donuts. She discovered her bed smelled like Nicole and she refused to give up the comfort it brought her. The warmth of the blankets made her burrow tighter into them, opening her eyes slowly to gaze out the window. She sighed softly, turning over in bed.

Her movements stilled as she took in the sight of Nicole Haught sitting in the corner of her room. She could see the red rims and bags of her eyes, a small smile gracing Nicole’s face as she made eye contact. Waverly felt her heart ache at the ragged features of the girl.

“Come here.” Her voice a bit rough from sleep and her throat sore from the previous night.

Nicole just tilted her head at the girl.

Waverly scooted over a bit on the bed as she sat up, clearly making space for Nicole to join her. “I said come here.” She patted the space by her legs for emphasis.

Nicole stood slowly, her joints popping, signaling just how much time she had spent on the floor. She walked over to the bed, sitting next to Waverly’s knees, facing the brunette now propped against the headboard.

“Are you okay?” Nicole’s voice sounded so small, Waverly couldn’t help the sadness in her expression.

“Yes. Nicole, I promise I’m okay.” Waverly answered, trying to reassure the girl. “Did you sleep at all?” She asked, concerned.

Nicole shook her head gently, “I – couldn’t really relax. I needed to make sure you were okay.”

“Hey, “ Waverly kept her voice quiet as she reached forward, running her fingers through Nicole’s hair before reaching for her hand. “I’m okay.” Waverly took a deep breath as she placed Nicole’s hand against her chest. “See? Feel my heartbeat, listen to my voice. I am right here.”

Nicole couldn’t stop the tears that fell as she began to cry. Exhaustion, physical and emotional, overwhelmed her body.

Waverly felt the heartache with her entire being. She held Nicole’s hand to her chest with her own, using the other to wrap gently around the girl’s head, pulling her close and placing a kiss to her forehead.

“Shhh,” she whispered against Nicole’s skin. “It’s gonna be okay. I’m gonna come back to you I promise. Yesterday was just step one.” She sealed her words with another lingering kiss.

Nicole sniffed, trying to calm herself. She lifted her head, Waverly’s hand falling from the back of it and into her lap. Brown eyes met hazel, both shrouded in tears. Nicole’s eyes dropped to Waverly’s lips for just a moment before she closed them, knowing that she couldn’t do anything Waverly wasn’t prepared for. However, in closing them, she missed the way the brunette’s eyes fell to her lips in return.

The red head sniffed again, clearing her throat and forcing herself to calm down. She wiped the tears away from her eyes with her free hand, the other joined with Waverly’s in her lap. “I’m sorry. I’m just a little tired. I didn’t mean to be like this. You must be sore from yesterday; can I get you anything?” Nicole tried to keep her voice even as she met Waverly’s eyes.

“I’m okay.” Waverly repeated. “A little soreness is to be expected and it’ll go away.” Waverly squeezed her hand, “If you really want to do something for me, why don’t you lay down for a bit? You need sleep.”

Nicole shook her head, “I can’t. I’m due at the station for my shift in two hours. Nedley has been wonderful stepping back in, but it’s time he got to enjoy his retirement. And this town needs its Sheriff.” Nicole couldn’t fight the smile on her face at acknowledging her place in the job she had worked so hard for.

Waverly smiled back. “Well, that’s two hours. I’m assuming all your stuff is here?”

Nicole nodded shyly.

“Perfect.” Waverly slid out of the covers, patting her now vacant space. “Get in. I will wake you in an hour.”

Nicole opened her mouth to protest, but Waverly cut her off quickly.

“Sleep.” She commanded. “I promise I will get you up, but you need to get at least a little bit of rest. I will be just downstairs.”

Nicole sighed, knowing she wouldn’t win this debate. She slid under the covers, looking up at Waverly. “Hey,” her voice already soft with sleep, “I’m glad you’re okay, Waves.” As soon as her head hit the pillow, Nicole was out.

-

The next thing Nicole knew, she was waking up to the feeling of soft fingers in her hair. She opened her eyes to Waverly sitting on the bed, mug in her hand, their positions reversed from this morning. Her fingers running gently through red waves.

“Feeling better?” Waverly asked.

“Yeah, actually. Thanks.” Nicole answered bashfully.

“You’re welcome.” Waverly smiled. “I brought you some coffee while you get ready. I’ve got food downstairs for you to take with you.” She handed the mug to a now upright Nicole.

Nicole took a sip, letting the hot drink fill her senses and wake her fully from sleep. She was struggling to process everything from the past 24 hours, and waking up in Waverly’s bed was just enough to distract her. She sighed, taking another drink.

“Hey Waves?” Nicole knew she needed a few answers if she was going to make it through the day.

“Hmm?”

“What – What happened last night?” Nicole glanced up at the girl, seeing the tension cross her face.

Waverly ran her fingers through Nicole’s hair one last time before letting her hands fall to her lap. Fidgeting her thumbs while she plucked up her courage to answer Nicole. “My memories. They are – hidden. To get them back, they not only have to be triggered, but I have to be able to endure the pain of my brand and scars. The more important, intense, or even bigger the memory, the more pain they cause.” Waverly swallowed harshly, starting at her hands. “But it works. I got most of my memories with Jeremy and Robin back, including pretty much all of my years of high school. It just got… a bit intense by the end of it.”

Waverly chanced looking back up into Nicole’s eyes, deep brown and full of anger mixed with worry.

“Waverly.” Her voice came out as a warning.

“It’s the only way. Trust me.”

Nicole pursed her lips. She closed her eyes and took a long drink of her coffee, trying to get her words in order. “Waverly,” her voice calmer, “what can I do to help?” She smiled weakly, knowing if she couldn’t stop the pain, she would do everything in her power to lessen it.

Waverly returned the smile, relief evident on her face. “Right now, I just need you to get ready for work.” She paused, standing and heading for the door. Turning around as she was leaving, “ _ Sheriff _ Haught.” Waverly smiled as she let the door close behind her.

Nicole couldn’t help the smile on her face at the words. She took another drink of her coffee, moving to get her uniform out of the closet. Stripping the t-shirt and sweatpants she had thrown on the night before. She took her time getting dressed. Sliding in one leg, then the other, into the dark blue slacks. She watched as the newer scar on her upper thigh became hidden by the fabric.

She pulled on a white tank-top, tucking it into her jeans and covering the tattooed jagged line just above her hip. Lastly, she shrugged on her button-up, sliding the right sleeve over the unfinished arm band around her bicep. She made a mental note in her head to get the last line added later in the day. She took another sip of coffee before finishing her buttons, tucking in her shirt, and tightening her tie.

Fully dressed, she ran a brush through her hair to try and tame the mess it had become while she ran her hands through it all night. She downed the last bit of coffee and headed downstairs.

Nicole grabbed her boots from near the door, moving to sit on the bottom step so she could put them on properly.

“Back on narc duty?” Wynonna asked, leaning against the doorway to the living room.

“Yep.” Nicole sighed as she worked to put her second boot on. “Nedley did great, but it’s time.” Nicole stepped towards the door.

“Wait,” Waverly said, stopping Nicole. “Here.” She handed her a coffee tumbler and a paper bag. “Some coffee and food since you didn’t sleep much.” Waverly smiled, her brows furrowing quickly at a memory tugging at her mind. She heard Nicole’s voice faintly,  _ Cappuccino to go? _

“Thanks Waves.” Nicole smiled as she used her free hand to grab her Stetson from the rack near the door. Tipping it towards Waverly as she walked out the front door, the smile highlighting her dimples.

The front door closed, and it’s sound was matched with the shattering of the mug that Waverly had been holding in her other hand.

_ I didn’t know Shorty’s had wet t-shirt competitions. _

“Waves?” Wynonna asked, concerned.

_ I’m Nicole. Nicole Haught. _

Waverly closed her eyes, watching the memory playback in her head as she felt her shoulder start to burn.

_ When I see something I like, I don’t wanna wait. _

Waverly’s leg buckled because of the pain, she fell to her knees but she was determined to get the memory.

_ I like to know what I’m doing at least two, or three, days in advance. _

Wynonna moved to kneel next to her sister, grabbing any pieces of mug near her that she thought Waverly might get cut on.

Waverly felt her brand burn hotter, a small whimper getting caught in her throat. She saw those same dimples flood her memory, a white Stetson placed on red hair.

_ I mean it. _

Waverly felt her pain intensify for just a moment, causing her to gasp harshly. But then it subsided, allowing her to breathe through it as her body relaxed. She let herself fall from her knee to sitting on the floor.

“Waverly?” Wynonna’s voice was filled with fear.

The younger Earp opened her eyes to meet her sister’s. Still breathing heavily, Waverly answered, “It’s okay, Wy. I’m okay.” She smiled at her big sister. “I remember meeting her.”

Wynonna smiled, “Good. Because Haught-to-Trot would probably reenact the whole thing just to prove she has game if you didn’t.”

Waverly chuckled lightly. “She definitely has game.”

“Ew. Okay, I don’t need to be around when you get other memories of her back. There is only so much a big sister is gonna be able to hear.” Wynonna feigned disgust, still smiling at her little sister.

“Deal.” Waverly’s laugh was stronger this time. “How about today we work so I can get some of our memories back?”

Wynonna’s face filled with hope. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

-

“Dammit!” Waverly hit her hand on the table in frustration, causing Wynonna to jump.

They had been going for hours. Wynonna telling her stories from various points in their lives, trying to kickstart Waverly’s memories. But nothing was working. Not stories from when they were little, not from after Wynonna became the heir, not even when Wynonna tried to add onto the memory of the two of them during Wynonna’s pregnancy that Waverly did remember.

“It’s okay Waverly.” Wynonna tried to comfort her sister. “We will figure it out.”

“I just don’t understand. All it took with Jeremy and Robin was them telling me stories and it was like everything was right there. Waiting to come back to me.” Waverly rubbed her hands across her face.

“We are just figuring it out as we go. You’ve been through a lot in your life, especially where I am involved.” A look of guilt passed over Wynonna’s face. “But I promise, we are gonna get it all back Babygirl.”

Waverly froze, a prickling in her mind taking hold. Her hands fell as she looked at Wynonna. “What – What did you just call me?”

“Babygirl? I’ve called you that for… wow I don’t even know how long. Your whole life I guess.” Wynonna watched as her sister’s whole body stiffened at the word.

Waverly’s eyes widened as her brand heated up. She reached forward, grabbing Wynonna’s hand tightly. “Don’t freak out. Just stay with me.” Waverly winced as the heat turned into a burn, her scars turning tender.

“I’ve got you Babygirl. Always.” Wynonna brought her other hand up to Waverly’s, holding on tightly.

Waverly shut her eyes tightly, fighting back the scream building in her throat. The pain was more intense than it had ever been. Flashes of Wynonna passed behind her eyes:

_ Waverly, be careful babygirl! Don’t play on the ice unless I’m there with you. _

_ Stay behind me babygirl, they shouldn’t be able to get on the homestead. _

_ Babygirl, you can do so much better than him. How could you let yourself miss something you’ve worked so hard for? _

_ I’ve gotta get out of here babygirl. I’m sorry, but I’m no good here. At least in Greece I’ll have a fresh start. _

_ Deep breath, babygirl! _

_ You okay, babygirl? _

_ We is the team, babygirl. _

_ We’re on the Fury Road Express, Babygirl, and there aren’t enough flaming guitars and gassy generals to bring us down. _

_ Waverly, Babygirl, if you’re still in there… _

_ Don’t do that to me, babygirl. _

_ We all love Nicole, babygirl. And there is no way in hell that she is dying today. _

_ C’mon babygirl, I’ll explain in the truck. _

_ Waverly?! Babygirl, are you okay?! _

_ You’re my favorite person in the whole world, babygirl. _

_ You’re strong, babygirl. You deserve answers. _

_ We could spend our whole lives trying to figure out why she does what she does, babygirl. _

_ You know I want your help, babygirl, but… _

_ I’ve been through some shit, babygirl. Some shit that brought me so low I didn’t think I’d ever see the light again. You’re the only thing that keeps me going. _

_ It’s okay. You’ll be fine, babygirl. _

_ Don’t you dare give up, babygirl. _

Wynonna’s words were intercut with images of the two of them together. It’s like the vault of Waverly’s mind had opened and unlocked every memory Waverly had with her sister. With her entire family. Her mom, Ward, Willa, even Gus and Curtis.

Waverly knew she was screaming. She couldn’t hear it but she could feel the tension in her throat. Her brand had surely burned the skin around it and her scars felt so raw it was as if whatever made them was tearing into her skin all over again.

She could feel the tightness in her back, her wings begging to come out. To shield her, to protect her from this pain. But shielding her body would shield her mind too. It would block out all of the memories that Waverly was trying to get back.

Her heart was racing, and she could feel the sweat dripping down her face. Waverly tried to control her breathing, working through the pain all of her focus on maintaining the state she was in.

Wynonna watched as her sister screamed, her body contorting in pain. She had never felt so helpless in her life. She held tighter to Waverly’s hands, as if somehow she could pull the pain from Waverly with her touch. Tears filled her eyes, spilling over and flowing down her cheeks.

“Shhh,” She whispered. “You can do this. I’ve got you, babygirl. I’ve got you, Waves. And I’m not going anywhere.” Wynonna whispered words of support over and over to her little sister, her heart breaking every second Waverly was in pain.

Both girls had lost track of time, of how long Waverly had been screaming. Suddenly, Waverly felt her pain subside. Her throat felt raw, her entire body sensitive to touch and her skin red with irritation.

She opened her eyes, seeing the distress on Wynonna’s face. “’Nonna.” She hoarsely whispered, before falling forward into Wynonna’s arms, completely passed out.

“I’ve got you.” Wynonna whispered into Waverly’s hair. Shifting her so that she could carry the small girl to the couch.

-

Nicole arrived back at the Homestead that night bearing Chinese food. She figured that with everything going on, it wouldn’t hurt to not have to think about what to eat.

She walked in the front door, and immediately took in the sight of Wynonna. Red-rimmed teary eyes starting at Waverly’s form laying on the couch.

“Wynonna?” Nicole asked, immediately concerned.

Wynonna looked up at Nicole, the tears in her eyes still trailing down her cheeks. The red-head set the Chinese food down gently, not wanting any abrupt noises in the tense space. Wynonna wordless stood from her chair, and walked over to Nicole. Looking at her best friend’s concerned face, Wynonna let out a choked sob as she buried her face into Nicole’s neck, her arms tucked against her chest.

Nicole responded immediately, wrapping her arms tightly around Wynonna. She held onto the girl as she cried, listening as Wynonna tried to calm herself. She peered at Waverly on the couch, discerning that the girl was only sleeping. A sigh of relief passed through Nicole’s whole body as she realized Waverly was safe.

Wynonna shifted, grabbing onto Nicole’s bicep. The sheriff flinched, her arm slightly tender. Wynonna pulled back from the embrace, looking up at Nicole.

“You got it finished. Didn’t you?” Wynonna’s voice was hoarse.

Nicole nodded, her face serious.

Wynonna moved to loosen Nicole’s tie, her hands moving to slowly unbutton the top of Nicole’s shirt. She pulled it down just enough to see the tattoo wrapping around her right bicep. A distinct band in all black, two lines wrapping around the arm, the area between them about an inch wide and filled with vertical lines, similar to the imprint that certain socks can leave around your ankles. On the outside of her bicep, just underneath the band, were the small neat letters: CCLII.

Wynonna ran her fingers gently over the letters, taking care to not hurt Nicole. She looked at the tattoo before turning to watch her sister sleeping on the couch.

Wynonna took a deep breath. “But she’s here now.”

“Yes, she is.” Nicole added, shrugging her shirt back on. “Are you okay?”

Wynonna shrugged, “She got memories of me back today. I don’t know which.” Her throat felt like it was closing in on itself. “She was just  _ screaming, _ Nicole. I could see her brand burning her, the way her scars went red. I’ve never felt so helpless to do anything.” Wynonna swallowed harshly while Nicole placed a gentle hand to her back in support. “Then she passed out. I put her on the couch and she’s been like this for hours.”

Nicole took a deep breath, trying to avoid imagining what it would feel like to see Waverly in that much pain. She let herself go into cop mode, using the calm confidence to help her get passed the thought. “Did you treat the burn?” Nicole moved to the kitchen, grabbing the first aid kit as well as Waverly’s favorite lotion out of the fridge.

Wynonna nodded, “Yeah, but like I said, it was hours ago.”

Nicole set the first aid supplies on the coffee table in front of Waverly. She grabbed the food from in front of the door and added it to the mix. Wynonna moved to her side, letting Nicole guide her to sit down next to Waverly’s feet on the couch.

“Waves.” Nicole whispered, trying to rouse the girl from sleep.

The small brunette shifted slightly.

“Waves.” Nicole raised her voice just slightly.

Waverly opened her eyes slightly, her body feeling sore and heavy. “Nic?” Her brows furrowed in confusion at the hoarseness in her voice. “What happened?”

“Wy said you passed out. And that things got a bit intense earlier.” Nicole kept her voice soft.

Waverly thought back, her eyes widening as she realized that she  _ remembered  _ Wynonna. All of Wynonna. She sat up quickly, immediately wincing at the ache in her muscles. “Nonna.” Waverly smiled as she looked at her older sister before launching herself into Wynonna’s arms, tears spilling from her eyes.

Wynonna grabbed onto her sister as fast as her arms would allow. She paid attention as to not touch Waverly’s burn, but held onto her sister for dear life. “I missed you so much.” Wynonna whispered as she pressed a kiss to Waverly’s forehead.

Nicole watched the two, a lump building in her throat. Nicole loved that they had found each other again, but couldn’t stop the pain in her heart knowing that Waverly still couldn’t remember her.

Waverly pulled out of the hug, smiling at her sister before turning back to Nicole.

“Here,” Nicole said, grabbing the first aid kit. “Some burn ointment to help your brand. And,” she grabbed the lotion, “for your scars. I know they are sore and irritated so I put your favorite lotion in the fridge. The coolness should help with the inflammation.”

Waverly smiled at the thought the redhead had put in. Her eyes drifted slightly, noticing the undone buttons and tie for the first time. Her brow raised, “What’s this?” Waverly gestured to the shirt.

Nicole pulled her shirt more closed over herself, “Not important.” Waverly didn’t know about her tattoos or their reasonings yet. Nicole didn’t think she needed to know tonight. “But after you get all doctored up. I brought dinner. The usual order, including sweet and sour soup with a side of the peanut butter they use in their sauces.” Nicole smiled at Waverly.

Waverly’s eyes brightened at the thought of food. Soon, all three girls were settled around the living room, eating and listening to Nicole’s update on the more mundane activities of the town.

“I swear, Lonnie would lose his head if it wasn’t attached. Actually – I think he could still lose it.” Nicole’s voice died off as headlights passed through the window of the Homestead.

“That must be the boys.” Waverly cut in. “They are planning to use the barn tonight, to try to help Doc uncover some of his memories.”

Wynonna stiffened, the thought of two people she loved going through the pain she saw earlier. Waverly reached out for her sister’s arm, squeezing gently for a reassuring touch.

“Why don’t you head up to my room? We will have a sister’s night, okay?” Waverly’s voice was soft as she spoke to Wynonna.

Wynonna nodded solemnly, standing up. She looked over at Nicole, her eyes showing the fear she felt.

“I’ll watch over them. I promise.” Nicole’s voice was firm, knowing that in this moment, it was the greatest promise she could grant Wynonna.

The dark-haired woman smiled gently before turning to head up the stairs, leaving Nicole and Waverly alone.

Nicole took a drink from her water and let her eyes fall from Wynonna. Nicole’s gaze found Waverly studying her. She pulled the glass from her lips slowly, “What?”

Waverly smiled at the red head. Remembering the way they met made her heart race. Looking at Nicole, all deep brown eyes and dimples, Waverly felt  _ giddy _ . “I can’t believe that ten seconds into meeting you, I was already letting you get me out of my clothes.”

Nicole’s face broke out into an intense smile, deepening her dimples. “What can I say? I’m just that good.” Nicole winked. “You remember meeting me?” Her voice filled with happiness and laced with hope.

Waverly nodded, smiling. “You put on that ridiculously sexy hat this morning and it just clicked.” Waverly reached forward, holding onto Nicole’s hand. Nicole returned the embrace eagerly. “It’ll come back Nicole. I promise. I’ll make sure it does.”

“ _ We _ will. I am with you through all of this Waverly.” Nicole raised their joined hands to her lips, pressing a soft kiss to Waverly’s hand.

The brunette blushed, “Thank you.” She squeezed Nicole’s hand. “Will you do me a favor tonight? Spend time with the boys in the barn. Help them work with Doc, but make sure they are all safe and that if Doc needs me, I’m there.”

Nicole nodded crisply, “I’ve got them. You take care of her.”

“Always.” Waverly looked up the stairs after Wynonna. “Everything we’ve been through…” She looked back at Nicole. “How – how long were we gone?” Waverly had avoided the question ever since they got back, not sure if she wanted to know the answer. But remembering what it felt like when Wy was gone throughout her life, she needed it.

Nicole sighed, running her hand through her hair. “8 months.”

“8 months?!” She knew they had been in there a while, but time works differently in the garden. “Nicole…” Her voice was soft, full of sadness at what it must have been like from this side.

Nicole moved her fingers to unbutton the rest of her shirt. She stood, “Two Hundred.” She let the shirt fall from her shoulders, leaving her in just her tank top, “Fifty-Two.” She gently grabbed Waverly’s hand, placing it over the tattooed band on her arm. “Days without you.” She watched as Waverly’s fingers traced the newly inked roman numerals. “I kept track.”

Waverly stared at the tattoo, her attention shifting from the neat lettering to the linear lines connecting the bands that wrapped around Nicole’s arm. Some split into multiple parts, others unbroken. “Are these –“ She looked up into intense brown eyes. Waverly swallowed harshly at the mixture of love and pain she found in them. “Are these tally marks?”

Nicole nodded. “I had it finished today. Wynonna looked at it while you were sleeping, hence the shirt being unbuttoned.”

Waverly just looked at Nicole. She felt the tears well in her eyes. In all the memories she had gained back, there wasn’t a single person she thought would’ve loved her enough to do this. But somehow, this woman who she only remembered a brief conversation with, had permanently changed her body in honor of Waverly.

“You have no idea how much I want to kiss you right now.” Waverly’s voice shook as she spoke.

Nicole’s eyes widened and she smiled softly. “Trust me, I do. 252 Days. And every second of it was spent wishing I could feel your lips against mine.”

They held each other’s gaze, the world around them ceasing to exist.

“But –“ Waverly’s voice broke the moment, “I don’t know what will happen when I do. And as much as I want to find out,” Waverly squeezed Nicole’s arm before letting her hand drop. “We have others to take care of tonight.”

Nicole tried not to let her disappointment show, she nodded in agreement. “Go to your sister. You two need each other. I’m gonna go see the boys.”

Waverly stepped forward slightly to place a quick kiss to Nicole’s cheek. “Goodnight Nicole.”

Nicole blushed deeply at the kiss, “Goodnight Waves.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the read, kudos, comments, or even just clicking the link. Love you, Earpers.
> 
> Feel free to come chat with me on Twitter @sheriff_earper


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, the things we need the most, have the biggest potential to destroy us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shouts out to those who catch all of the fic/panel references. And all the admiration in the world to those authors who made me fall in love with fic again.

Waverly was groggy as she heard the door to her room creak open. She looked towards the noise; her body unable to move because of Wynonna’s hold on her. Nicole smiled softly from the doorway, lifting the tray of food in her hands to show Waverly. The tray was piled with pancakes and their fixings, three steaming mugs, as well as some glasses of juice.

Wynonna stirred as the smell of coffee hit her nose. She groaned as she lifted her head up.

“Thought you two could use some sustenance.” Nicole said as she propped the tray up on Waverly’s bed, setting about getting plates set up for each of them. She handed Wynonna her coffee and pancakes with an unhealthy amount of syrup.

“I love you, Red. Seriously, I could marry you right now.” Wynonna said as she dug in.

Nicole chuckled, “Flattered, but spoken for Wy.” Nicole winked at Waverly before handing her a mug of her favorite tea and pancakes with strawberries and some fake bacon. “All vegan, I promise.”

Waverly blushed at the wink and the meaning of Nicole’s words to Wynonna. As much as she was missing with her memories gone, Nicole still had this incredible ability to fluster her with just a look. Waverly wondered if this would be the case after she got her memories back. Based on the way Waverly’s heart raced at just a glimpse of those dimples, she guessed that it probably would be.

The girls tucked into their breakfasts, eating in a comfortable silence. Wynonna finished first, setting her plate and mug on the bedside table before laying back down. Nicole watched her best friend take a deep breath and rub her hands on her face.

“Nicole?” Wynonna’s voice was quiet, her face partially hidden behind Waverly.

“He’s okay. Tired, but okay. It went well and we made good progress. From what we can tell, you and Kate should be able to fill in the rest of the gaps.” Nicole answered her, noticing how her body stiffened at Kate’s name. “Hey,” Nicole placed a hand reassuringly against Wynonna’s leg, “I know you and Doc left things… complicated. But he needs her if he is gonna get all of his memories back.”

Wynonna nodded sadly, “I know, doesn’t mean I like it.”

Nicole gave a quick squeeze to Wynonna’s leg. “The boys will be over in a few hours,” she turned to Waverly, “Jeremy thinks he figured out what exactly is going on with the memories. But he needs you and Doc to fill in some gaps. Think you’re up for that?”

Waverly nodded, “Definitely. I want to figure this out.” Their eyes met and held each other’s gaze for just a moment. “So,” Waverly looked down at her sister, “how about a movie while we wait for them? I think the three of us could use that.” She wanted to spend more time with her sister and she was hoping to just be able to be close to Nicole. Waverly felt more at ease with her touch and she wanted to test it without it being a big deal.

Nicole’s eyes popped over to Wynonna at the mention of a movie, her smile widening. Without even looking at Nicole, the girl groaned. “I can see that look, Haughtstuff. No.”

“Come on, Wynonna. You know you love it. And Waves has never seen it so it's perfect.”

Waverly looked back and forth between Nicole and Wynonna. “What movie?”

“One of the greatest movies ever made.” Nicole answered.

Wynonna scoffed, “I think you mean  _ gayest _ . I still can’t believe this movie made you want to be a cop.”

“A  _ spy _ . It’s a classic.” Nicole moved to set up the movie for them, the tv still on Waverly’s desk from last night.

Wynonna rolled her eyes, “Babygirl, how you made it this long without Nicole forcing you to watch D.E.B.S. is still a mystery to me.”

Nicole smiled as she walked back over to the bed, remote in hand. Her step faltered for a second, realizing she was headed to sit next to Waverly. The red head looked at the girl nervously, trying to figure out if it was okay. Waverly smiled at her, shifting and patting the bed next to her.

The smile that broke out across Nicole’s face made Waverly’s entire body feel warm. Nicole settled down in the bed next to Waverly, all three of the girls propped against the headboard. Waverly nestled contentedly in the middle. Wynonna laid her head on her sister’s shoulder, unwilling to give up the contact after so many months without.

Nicole hit play, and as the sounds of the movie filled the room she shifted slightly, settling underneath the covers with the other two. She felt how close she was to Waverly and her heart nearly stopped. She could feel the warmth coming off of her body and it took everything in Nicole to not wrap her arms around the girl.

Waverly’s heart raced at their proximity. She took a deep breath as she moved just enough to be pressed against Nicole. Legs, hips, and arms all brushing against each other. It was like electricity was running through her veins. No pain or scars hurting, just pure excitement at the touch. Waverly could’ve sworn she heard a small gasp leave Nicole’s lips at the touch. The brunette kept her eyes trained forward at the screen as she reached out to take Nicole’s hand, interlacing their fingers. She rested their joined hands in her lap over the covers, trying her best to relax her beating heart.

Nicole turned and looked at Waverly, the feeling of being so close to her shocking Nicole to her core. She was breathless at the simplest touch. She studied the brunette’s face in disbelief, looking for any signs of discomfort.

Waverly finally turned towards Nicole, taking in the intense brown gaze. “Watch the movie.” She whispered. “I just want to be close to you. Is that okay?” Her voice nervous now, worried she had crossed a boundary that Nicole wasn’t ready for.

Nicole squeezed her hand quickly in reassurance. “More than okay, Waves.” Nicole smiled widely.

Waverly returned the smile, raising their joined hands to her lips to place a quick kiss against the back of Nicole’s before turning back to the screen.

It wasn’t long before Wynonna had fallen back asleep, curled up into the pillow under her head. Nicole and Waverly were happy to keep pretending that either of them were paying attention to what was on the screen, when both girls were actually caught up in their own thoughts of the other.

Nicole felt like her body was burning at Waverly’s touch. It had been so long since the girl was this close to her. Every subtle movement set Nicole’s body alight. She gulped, flexing the hand that wasn’t grasped in Waverly’s to try and calm the urge to warp the girl in her arms and never let go.

Waverly wasn’t fairing much better. She could feel how much her body wanted to be against Nicole. It was like muscle memory, it knew that it belonged in Nicole’s arms. That Nicole was meant to be touching her. Waverly looked up at the red head, studying her profile for a moment before Nicole turned to meet her eyes.

Their gaze was intense, both girls barely breathing. Waverly’s eyes dropped to Nicole’s lips. Her own were tingling just at the thought of the connection. Nicole swallowed thickly under Waverly’s attention.

Waverly looked into brown eyes again for a moment before tightening her grip on Nicole’s hand. She leaned towards Nicole, the red head moving to meet her. Their lips parted, hot breath mingling as their lips were centimeters from each other. Waverly closed her eyes as she –

The sound of knocking below them startled them out of the moment. The girls broke away from each other. They struggled to catch their breath, the pure intensity of the moment causing their hearts to race.

Wynonna grunted as she was woken up by the sound of another knock. Nicole looked at Waverly again and squeezed her hand. “That must be the boys.” She slid out from under the covers. “I’ll let them in. See y’all downstairs?”

Waverly nodded, still letting her brain catch up to things that weren’t kissing Nicole.

-

Waverly and Wynonna made their way down the stairs a few minutes later. They found the others sitting around the table. She took a breath as the image of Nicole’s hand slipping from hers as she fell to the ground filled her mind. She remembered Wynonna drugging them before heading into the woods.  _ 8 months ago. _ She sighed at the thought. Waverly made her way towards Doc, lifting his hat to place a kiss to the top of his head before sitting down between him and Nicole.

Wynonna took the seat on the other side of Nicole, next to Jeremy. She ruffled his hair slightly, a new habit that she had picked up. Jeremy had become like a little brother to her over the months. Initially because of how much he reminded her of Waverly, but eventually Wynonna just grew to love the boy and his presence.

“How are you doing John Henry?” Waverly asked, searching the cowboy’s face for any tiredness.

“I am doing quite alright, Miss Waverly.” He tipped his hat to her, “But I think I’ll be doing even better soon enough.”

They turned to look at Jeremy. Robin gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze as the boy spoke. “Yeah, I can help with this.” Jeremy started. “I’m pretty sure I’ve figured out pieces of what happened. Why the brands act the way they do when you remember things. But first, I need you guys to explain what you did in the bar the other night. It’s the piece I’m missing.”

Waverly looked at Doc, taking a deep breath. The bond they now had was something she didn’t know if she could put into words, but she could try. “The garden was… overwhelming. It was paradise in ways, but only in moments. Then we would remember you all and it was like the spell was broken and we were in this horrible place. The harder we fought the leave, the more it locked us in.”

“After a while, we started to notice our memories slipping away. There were times when we tried to remind each other of things, but eventually we had both forgotten. The only memories we had were of each other. And even then they were fragmented. Usually only us. There is a woman in one of them. I can see her barely, Doc can’t see her at all. These are what allowed us to bond. They allow me to heal him.” Waverly looked at Jeremy.

"The words you said in the bar.” His voice was sure as he connected the dots.

“Temperance. Adoration. Kings.” Doc filled in. “All words connected with memories we share. Memories that could be considered mundane enough to others, but powerful enough to keep us sane in there.”

Waverly nodded as she leaned forward to squeeze Doc’s arm. “I found out I could use them to heal him. My wings helped me, but he was dying in there. The garden was attacking us.” She lowered her eyes to the table. “Our scars… they didn’t just appear. They were made purposefully. I don’t know about our brands. I think mine appeared the moment I was through the doorway, but I can’t remember.” Waverly felt Nicole shift next to her before the red-heads hand rested gently on her shoulder. “The more we were hurt. The more we healed. We kept forgetting things.”

Waverly felt the tears prick her eyes. The silence in the room was broken as Doc moved from his seat, pulling Waverly up to a stand before wrapping her into a hug. He placed a protective hand to the back of her head as she turned into his chest and neck, both of them letting their tears fall. The others watched quietly, their brains trying to comprehend the pain the pair had been through.

Waverly sniffled as she broke from the hug, “Please tell me that helps.”

Jeremy cleared his throat, his voice thick with emotion. “Yeah, Waves. It helps a lot.” He nodded to both of them as they sat back down. “I know what happened. Or at least, I’m 99% positive.”

He took a deep breath. “Based on all of my research, the garden was designed to be paradise. It’s literally the sole purpose. And since it pulled Waverly in, it seems like it’s a sentient being. Or living thing. Or place. Whatever you want to call it.

“But when the people in it want to leave, it isn’t fulfilling its purpose. It  _ wasn’t  _ paradise for you guys, it couldn’t be. You wanted to get back here to us too badly. So, the garden did the only thing it could do, it took away the reason you wanted to leave.

“You said that the spell of paradise would break when you remembered us, and then it would hurt you. The garden was hurting you both, training your brain to bury the memories so that it could be paradise for you. It let you keep memories of each other because you were there together. There was no reason you would want to leave the other.

“My guess is that is also why it hurts when memories come back. The magic of the garden must be working to keep the memories buried, maintain its purpose, even when you are gone. That’s also why the memories re-fade if you heal.” He paused for a moment, thinking. “The brands are the garden’s hold on you. Like the way a farmer brands their cattle. It’s laying claim.”

The room was silent as they took in the information.

Nicole was the first to speak. “So, they will just be in pain? There is no way around it?” Her face showing her anger and dread at the answer.

Jeremy looked at her, his eyes sad. “Yes. At least until their full memories are restored. I can’t speak to the exact magic, but the body and brain. They have to be re-trained to fight through it. At least right now, there is nothing we can do besides try to help them recover.”

Waverly reached for Nicole’s hand, squeezing hard. “We can do this.” The brunette looked over at her sister, uncharacteristically quiet. “Nonna?”

The older Earp startled slightly at her name, tearing her eyes away from their gaze on Doc. “We’ve got you, babygirl.” She turned to catch Doc’s gaze. “Both of you.”

Doc tipped his hat slowly, he could feel the importance of Wynonna’s gaze, curious to the memories she would restore.

Robin leaned forward against the table, “Also, me and Jer were talking. Based on our time with all of you and that Nicole filled us in on Waverly’s memories of Wynonna being restored, we think that there are only a few more major steps to take.” He turned to Doc, “There is a woman named Kate, she agreed to come by later. She will be able to fill in most of the gaps that we can’t. We don’t know exactly how it’ll map out, but hopefully it will be all of it. And then,” his voice quieted slightly as he looked at Wynonna.

“It's just you and me.” Wynonna’s voice held false bravado, but everyone in the room could see the fear and tenseness she held. Nicole leaned over and squeezed Wynonna’s leg in reassurance.

“And Waves,” Robin continued, “Gus has plans to be here soon to help get your memories from before Wynonna got back, but there are some extra steps that need to be taken for that to happen. Otherwise, Nicole should be able to fill in the rest.” He smiled at the girls slightly before letting his concern show, “But – well – based on the intensity of your reactions with her previously, we have no idea if your body will actually be able to  _ endure _ it.”

Nicole swallowed thickly, her heart shattering at the thought of Waverly not remembering her. And then shattering again at the thought of the amount of pain she would have to go through  _ to _ remember her.

“I can do it.” Waverly said frankly, holding Nicole’s hand tighter. “I’m going to do it.”

Robin nodded, knowing that nothing anyone said would deter her.

The front door sprang open, “Bitch, where are you?!” Mercedes yelled as she walked through the front door, leaving it open behind her. “Also, Kate’s on the porch and still pissed you won’t invite her in.”

“And that would be our cue.” Jeremy said, nodding to Robin and Doc. “We will be with Kate and Doc in the barn. Since he can’t heal, we figured the extra hands will be useful.” He looked at Wynonna, smiling as she nodded in silent blessing, before heading out the front door with the others in tow.

Mercedes walked over to Wynonna, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She leaned close, whispering, “I figured you could use another friend. How about some drinks and bachelorette?

Wynonna scoffed, “You know this season doesn’t compare to the one where she got with the hot chick ranch owner. I mean a plot twist and a gay ending? Top shelf.”

Mercedes laughed, “Fair enough. 90 Day Fiancé?”

Wynonna smiled, “I love you.” She stood to follow Mercedes into the living room. Looking down at Waverly, she added, “You and Haught-to-Trot wanna join us?”

Waverly shook her head, “You two go. I think it’s time for me to get some memories back.” She turned to Nicole. “What do you say?”

Nicole smiled at her, “Let’s do it. But I want to be careful, okay?”

Wynonna smiled at them before heading to the living room, calling back behind her, “We are here if you need anything.”

Waverly nodded her head towards the stairs, “How about we go out to the roof? I have a feeling we’ve spent a bit of time out there.”

Nicole’s dimples deepened with her smile, “Yeah. Pretty much any time we needed time to talk or just to be together in silence. It’s like our little escape spot.” She stood, holding her hand to Waverly and leading her up the stairs.

-

The afternoon sun warmed the air as Waverly and Nicole sat on the roof. They let the silence wash over them for a moment, content in each other’s presence.

Nicole turned towards Waverly, drinking in the sight of the girl next to her. Her brunette hair highlighted gold by the sun, blowing gently with the wind. Nicole couldn’t help the smile that grew on her face.

Waverly turned, feeling the gaze. “What?” She asked.

“You’re incredible.” Nicole replied simply.

Waverly blushed, seeing the pure love reflected in Nicole’s eyes. “Nicole?”

“Yeah?” The red head tilted her head slightly.

“Tell me our story.”

Nicole smiled widely, “Well, it all started when I finally worked up the courage to walk into a bar and introduce myself.”

-

“You’re such a sap.” Waverly said, a smile on her face even though she could feel the burn in her brand and scars.

Nicole chuckled, “You were stressed out. I could tell from just sitting next to you in that car that you just needed someone to let you work it all out."

“And I did? I mean, I’m assuming I did.” Waverly’s voice was slightly hesitant.

Nicole couldn’t help the shit-eating grin on her face. “Oh baby, you definitely did. You practically jumped me at the station.”

Waverly’s eyes widened. “I did not!”

“Oh, you did. You came in one day during happy hour – Nedley’s normal break.”

Waverly felt her brand start to burn more intensely, her scars following suit. She grimaced slightly, shifting to try to relieve the pain a bit.

“You good?” Nicole asked, checking in before continuing.

“Yeah,” Waverly said. She would be damned if she didn’t push herself to her limits for this.

Nicole nodded, “You pulled me into Nedley’s office, slamming closed the blinds and locking the door. And then you pulled me into this incredible kiss.”

Waverly felt like her brand was on fire as she saw the memory play out in her mind.

_ “Waves what are you –“ Nicole started before Waverly crashed their lips together. Desperate and hard, begging just to be close to the other girl. They stumbled back, Nicole’s knees hitting the couch, falling onto it together. _

_ "What happened to friends?” Nicole asked. _

_ “You know what I’ve always wanted?” Waverly started. _

_ “What?” Nicole asked, confused. _

Waverly reached her hand out, grabbing frantically for Nicole’s. She needed grounding, the pain starting to overwhelm her.

_ “It’s not so easy to be brazen – when the thing you want the most, the thing that scares you to death – is sitting right in front of you.” _

_ “I scare you?” _

Waverly screamed in pain, as the memory continued to take shape in her head. Her hand nearly crushing Nicole’s in her grasp. She knew she could do it, she just needed to push herself.

“Waves?” Nicole’s voice was panicked.

“I can do it.” Waverly spoke quickly, her voice ragged.

_ “Maybe you should make me.” _

Waverly’s body felt as if it was being ripped apart at every point. She screamed again, the pain overwhelming her.

"I’m sorry.” Her words were so fast Nicole nearly missed them. Waverly pushed away from the red head, stepping to the edge of the roof and falling forward faster than Nicole could react.

“Waverly!” She screamed, lunging forward as if she could stop the girl.

Over the edge, she saw Waverly twist in the air, her wings sprouting to full span, flapping once to launch Waverly back up into the air, directly in front of Nicole. The girl watched in awe as the white feathers shone in the sunlight, the chrome rainbow passing through each feather like a wave of light. One leg slightly bent, her arms crossed at her waist. Waverly’s face still tense from pain. Nicole watched as the girl hovered in air for a moment, before floating safely to the ground, her wings wrapped around her tightly.

Nicole shook out of her stupor, climbing back in the window and racing down the stairs. She jumped the last 5 steps, not able to spend a second longer than necessary to get to Waverly.

“Nicole?!” Wynonna called from the living room, getting up to race after her.

Nicole burst through the back door, falling to her knees in front of Waverly, tears streaming down her face.

Wynonna and Mercedes followed shortly after. Mercedes stopped dead in the doorway at the sight of Waverly’s wings. “Wow.” She whispered to herself.

Wynonna slowed as she reached Nicole, placing a firm hand on her shoulder. She felt how her best friend was trembling. “Hey,” her voice soft as she knelt next to her. “What happened?”

“It – it was too much.” Nicole’s voice was broken with sobs. “Remembering me.”

Wynonna held Nicole close, “We will figure it out.” She stroked her hair while she cried, keeping an eye on Waverly’s form as well. Her heart broke at the idea that both of them would have to live with this pain. The missing memories. Not being together because Waverly wouldn’t be able to handle it. And Nicole wouldn’t be able to keep hurting her. Wynonna tightened her hold on Nicole, knowing that they had to solve this.

-

The sun set and the breeze picked up, settling a chill over the four women. Mercedes had gone in at some point and gotten blankets to wrap around Nicole and Wynonna.

Wynonna looked up at Mercedes, the girl motioning to Nicole.

Mercedes squatted down next to the Sheriff, her arms wrapping around her shoulders. “Hey,” her voice was soft. “Why don’t we go inside okay?”

Nicole had no reaction. Her red, swollen eyes never leaving Waverly’s form. White wings still wrapped tight around her body.

Wynonna spoke next, “I’ve got her, Nicole. I promise. She is safe with me.” Looking up at Mercedes, she added, “Get her inside, warmed up. Maybe a drink. I’m out here until Waves is okay.”

Mercedes nodded and tugged at the girl slightly. Nicole resisted for a moment, before following the pull, letting Mercedes lead her inside.

Nic ole collapsed into a chair at the kitchen table, her eyes still glazed over and far away. Mercedes pulled a glass out of the cabinet, pouring a few fingers of whiskey and setting it in front of Nicole.

Nicole looked down at the glass, slamming back the drink. Her face barely grimacing at the burn of the drink. She looked at the empty glass, her face turning angry as she threw it at the wall, with a yell.

Mercedes jumped slightly at the action, but kept her cool. “Wynonna is gonna be pissed that you broke her whiskey glass.” Her voice slightly joking to try to break the tension.

Nicole moved towards the front door, grabbing her coat.

“Don’t you dare.” Wynonna’s voice was serious as she walked in the back door, investigating the sound of glass breaking. She nodded at Mercedes to go out back and look after Waves.

Nicole paused, but stayed facing away from Wynonna.

Wynonna continued, “You don’t get to run. You stay and you fight for her and the memories you got back today.”

Nicole’s shoulders bristled as she whipped around, “They’re gone, Wynonna! She healed. Anything she remembered today is gone again. All that pain for  _ nothing _ !”

Wynonna nodded but held her ground. “For now, Nicole. It doesn’t mean you can’t try to get them back again.”

“She jumped off a  _ roof _ , Wynonna!” Nicole shouted. “A  _ roof _ . Because she had to heal. She had to get away from  _ me. _ I was  _ hurting _ her.”

“Nicole –“ Wynonna started.

“Just – don’t.” Nicole’s voice settled back to normal volume. “Not right now.”

“Fine. But no way in hell you are leaving.” Wynonna rested her hand on Doc’s pistols strapped around her waist. “I’ll shoot you before you do.”

“Fine.” Nicole grumbled as she walked back into the kitchen. She grabbed another glass from the cabinet and poured another healthy serving of whiskey.

Wynonna patted her shoulder as she passed, switching places with Mercedes outside.

Nicole nodded at the other red-head and grabbed the whiskey before heading into the living room.

Mercedes followed, trying to figure out best how to help this girl. She turned the channel, throwing on an old western movie. Nicole would always put these on after particularly rough days over the past 8 months. Mercedes guessed it was the best option for now.

Nicole took a swig from the bottle, listening to the drone of the tv, thick accents saying things like “It ain’t proper,” occasionally breaking the monotony.

Mercedes left the room to go make Nicole a sandwich, peanut butter and marshmallow fluff – because sad Nicole ate like a little kid. She handed the sandwich to Nicole, who mindlessly ate it, washing down every bite with whiskey.

They continued watching the movie in silence. The first one blending into the next. After about an hour and a half, Nicole finally broke the silence, “Just how much do you think seven cows is actually worth?”

Mercedes startled at the sound, before recovering, “Apparently enough for a wife.”

Nicole chuckled slightly, “How romantic.” Her laugh grew to a deep, full belly laugh.

Mercedes watched cautiously, knowing the sudden outburst was likely the result of the nearly full bottle of whiskey Nicole had put back.

The laughter suddenly morphed into tears, sobs wracking Nicole’s body. Mercedes was quick to gather her in her arms. “Hey, how about some sleep?” She knew the girl needed rest before she could talk any of this out. Especially, to let the alcohol wear off.

Mercedes let Nicole upstairs, tucking her into Waverly’s bed.

Nicole smiled as she buried her face in the pillow. “Smells like ‘er now.” She mumbled.

Mercedes left a glass of water on the table, next to some aspirin before heading back downstairs.

Back in the living room, she was met with Wynonna and an exhausted looking Waverly. The look of hurt on Waverly’s face so intense that Mercedes felt as if she had been punched in the gut.

“How is she?” Waverly asked timidly.

“Drunk. Other than that, I don’t really know.” Mercedes answered.

Waverly felt the tears prick behind her eyes, “How bad was it, Wy?” She turned to look at her sister. “I remember going to the roof with her, but after that… it’s just blank.”

“I don’t know babygirl. You two were up there for a while, and then suddenly Nicole was yelling, running down the stairs and somehow you were on the ground outside.”

-

Nicole’s drunken mind registered the figure in the doorway, her eyes squinting to make out who it was in the darkness. “Wy. We are gonna figure it out, righ’?” Her voice was soft with drunkenness.

“I mean – she – she can’t  _ not _ remember me. I love ‘er.” She buried herself back into the pillows. “Smells like ‘er. The best smell.” She took a deep breath. “What if she doesn’t remember? She might not love me.” Nicole felt new tears on her face. “What if it hurts ‘er to love me? I can’t hurt ‘er. I’d leave before I let that happen. A’ least tha’ way, I’m the only one who ends up with a broken heart.” Nicole sighed again, letting the soft scent of Waverly on the pillows lull her to sleep.

In the doorway, silent tears fell from her cheeks to the floor as Waverly watched Nicole drift off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the read, kudos, comments, or even just clicking the link. Love you, Earpers.
> 
> Feel free to come chat with me on Twitter @sheriff_earper


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, you just need to touch someone.

Nicole groaned as she started to wake up. Her head was pounding. She opened her eyes slightly, hissing at the harsh light. She rubbed at her head, sitting up. Slowly, she recalled the events on the day before, sighing at the memory of Waves wrapped in her wings.

Nicole pulled herself out of bed, descending the stairs in search of coffee and any food that she would be able to keep down. She found Wynonna in the kitchen.

“Is she okay?” Nicole spoke the minute she laid eyes on Wynonna.

Wynonna nodded, “It took a few hours, but she recovered – just like last time.”

Nicole moved to make herself a cup of coffee.

Wynonna reached out, gently squeezing her shoulder. “You were right…” Her voice softened, “She remembers being on the roof with you for a moment but nothing after that. I’m sorry.”

Nicole took a sip of the too-hot coffee, not caring as it burnt her tongue.

“Waves is with Jeremy right now, trying to find a way for her to get through this without needing to heal.” Wynonna took a pregnant pause. “While she’s gone, that means Doc can’t heal either.” Wynonna’s voice became more hesitant. “But he wants to work with me this morning.”

Nicole turned to her best friend, understanding the question. “Wy, if you need me, I’ll be there. Even if you just want me there. I can help him if he needs it.”

Wynonna looked at Nicole, “Are you sure? After watching what Waves went through yesterday –“

“It gives me the very real perspective of watching the person I love in this much pain. Of course, I will help you through it.”

“Love is a strong word.” Wynonna joked half-heartedly.

“It’s okay to love him, Wy. It’s okay to be  _ in _ love with him. And it’s okay if you need to keep denying it until he feels it again too.” Nicole smiled at her friend.

-

“I have an inkling that these memories will fill in the many gaps I can see in my mind.” Doc spoke as he sat on the edge of his old bed in the barn.

Nicole leaned against the wall by the door, just watching as Wynonna stepped forward in front of Doc.

“John Henry.” Wynonna’s voice was softer than Nicole had ever heard it.

Wynonna stood, just staring at Doc. He reached up, removing his hat from his head and placing it on the bed next to him.

“I can’t –“ She whispered, turning around. Nicole was there immediately, stepping forward to stop Wynonna.

“You can.” Her voice was soft but firm.

Wynonna took a deep breath, turning back towards Doc. She cleared her throat, “So, um, what do you remember about me?”

Doc’s brow furrowed as he thought, “I -, I know your connected to Waverly, I can feel it in the edges of my memories of her. I can sense you in everything, just out of my reach. And my heart,” He paused to look up at her, “My heart feels like it is both fuller than it has ever been, but also as if it could never be repaired.”

Wynonna swallowed harshly. “Yeah, I – I understand the feeling.” She cleared her throat again, “Damn, I should’ve brought the whiskey out here.”

Nicole smiled at the comment, feeling the nerves radiating from Wynonna. “Why don’t you start with where you met, Wy?” She offered, “That seems to be a good bet based on everyone else.”

Wynonna gave Nicole a grateful smile, “Yeah.” She turned to Doc, “Shorty’s. I was sitting in the bar one night, Peacemaker on the counter next to me, when all of the sudden, this done-up cowboy is a few seats away.”

Doc looks at her, brows furrowed, trying to pull at the memory but nothing comes.

Wynonna sighs, “You know what? We were never really ones for words.” She steps forward to him, reaching for his hands before placing them on her hips.

Nicole’s eyes widen, “Wynonna?” She shifts uncomfortably, wondering where exactly Wynonna is planning to take this.

Doc’s eyebrows raise in surprise, but his hands follow Wynonna’s lead regardless. He felt his brand start to heat against his skin, the tank-top he wore exposing the word. He closed his eyes, feeling memories start to tug at his mind.

Nicole watched the moment, feeling as if she was imposing, but sensing the intensity and noticing where Doc’s scars were reddening, she stayed still and silent.

Wynonna ran her hands through this hair for a moment, before letting her hands fall to his cheeks.

_ John Henry Holliday, you’re not welcome in my home anymore. _

The words echoed in Doc’s mind like a gunshot. His brand seared and his heart broke with the memory. He felt the sting of Wynonna’s hand against his cheek from a slap, contrasted with the way she softly caressed it now.

_ He felt her hand against his cheek as she pulled him into a kiss, her back against a wall in the homestead. _

Doc’s hands tightened on her hips, his brand burning hotter and his scars starting to feel as if they were reopening.

Wynonna moved her hands to his neck, his arms, letting them drift calmly and firmly across the skin.

A grunt came from Doc, the pain he was enduring starting to intensify. Images of himself and Wynonna flashing through his brain almost too fast for him to keep up.

_ The homestead. The woods. Feeling her lips against his. His hands on her. _

Wynonna moved, grasping at his hands on her hips. She held them in her own, moving hers slightly. Doc followed her lead, letting their hands shift their holds.

_ He was holding her hand as if to kiss her knuckles, looking into her eyes. In the homestead. In a diner. _

_ Their hands grasped over some type of medical bed. _

_ His hand covering hers as she held onto the bars of a jail cell. _

_ The slight brush of his fingers against her palm and he placed Peacemaker into it. _

Wynonna ran the back of her hand against Doc’s palm, the memory triggering powerful enough to make Doc cry out.

_ He placed the ring in her palm, his words from that night echoing in his head. ‘All I want, excuse me for being old fashioned, is for you to be healthy and for you to be as close to happy as possible. And I will do anything, I will give anything, to ensure it.’ _

_ Dainty and delicate in blue, Doc looked down at his beautiful baby girl. _

Wynonna felt the tears falling down her face and saw as Doc’s were falling down on his. She placed his hands back against her hips, moving her right hand to place it against his chest. She hissed at the burn against her skin but kept her hand in place. Doc’s hand moved from her hip, holding tight to the wrist now against his chest.

_ ‘Would my heart be pounding like it is?’ Doc held her hand to his chest, the first time they had truly touched, keeping his bravado even though he could tell already that their connection had the potential to be more intense and dangerous than dynamite. _

Doc’s entire body was lit up with pain, as every memory of Wynonna came flooding back to him. Wynonna stood there, her touch never leaving his body, enduring the burn on her hand.

Nicole stood, frozen, watching the scene before her. Seeing how intense the connection between them was by just their touch.

Suddenly, Doc screamed, his pain cresting higher than ever, before it subsided completely. Tears rolled down his face as his body relaxed. He opened his eyes to stare up at Wynonna, taking in the way her own cheeks were streaked with wetness. Doc stood quickly, holding to Wynonna for balance as he wobbled slightly.

Keeping her hand to his chest, he brought his other hand to her cheek, pressing his forehead to hers. His breathing was heavy as his body was recovering from the pain. “Alice Michelle Holliday.” He said quietly.

Wynonna smiled as the sob escaped her lips, the relief hitting her at his memories of their daughter being restored.

“I remember it all, Wynonna. I’m so sorry I ruined her crib.” He spoke again.

She reached up at his cheek and neck, pulling him into a kiss.

Nicole averted her eyes, smiling at the happiness she could see take over her best friend.

Doc pulled Wynonna close, breaking their kiss in favor of the hug. Wynonna smiled as she tucked into his neck, lifting her hand from his chest and gasping at what she saw.

Nicole turned at Wynonna’s gasp, “What?” She moved, ready to help.

“His brand is –“ Wynonna started, staring at this chest.

Nicole followed her gaze, where the previously angry, red brand had rested, was now faded white script. A faint scar.

Doc placed his hand to the scar, “It doesn’t hurt.” His voice laced with surprise.

“It healed.” Wynonna said.

“Doc, can you tell if you are missing any memories?” Nicole asked, her brain working over Jeremy’s theory and trying to fit this new development in.

“Not that I can tell, Sheriff.”

Nicole nodded, “The garden’s hold on you… it’s broken. At least, I think that’s what it means. It can’t hurt you anymore.”

Doc smiled, “Well I’ll be.”

The door to the barn opened, revealing Waverly.

“Babygirl,” Wynonna started, a smile on her face, “Doc has his memories back. All of them.”

The smile that broke out across Waverly’s face lit up the entire room. She rushed forward to the two of them, hugging them, before pulling back.

“His brand healed.” Wynonna said, shifting Waverly’s focus to the new scar.

Nicole watched the three, a sadness beginning to grip her heart. She didn’t know if Waverly’s brand would ever heal, if her memories would ever fully return. Nicole turned and walked out of the barn, needing the air.

She walked towards the homestead, hearing the door creak again behind her.

“Nicole!” Waverly called after her.

“Not now Waves. I’m getting supplies to treat the burn on Wynonna’s hand.” She replied, giving herself an excuse and continuing to walk away.

Waverly jogged to catch up, reaching a hand out to pull at Nicole’s arm. Nicole stopped walking but didn’t turn.

“Nic.” Waverly said. “Look at me.”

Nicole didn’t turn around, she could feel the tears prickling behind her eyes. “What do you want, Waverly?”

“I want you to look at me.”

Nicole turned, the tears on her face starting to fall.

“Oh, Nicole.” Waverly’s voice was a whisper as she brought her hands to Nicole’s face to wipe the tears away.

Nicole stepped out of her reach. “Stop. All I do lately is hurt you.”

Waverly took a step forward to close the gap and Nicole responded by taking another step back.

Waverly huffed, “Nicole Rayleigh Haught, you stop that this minute.”

“No, Waverly.” Nicole’s voice was firm, even as the tears fell. “I don’t know if you will ever heal like Doc just did. I don’t know if you will ever be able to be around me without the risk of pain so intense your body can’t help but protect you  _ from  _ me _. _ I don’t know if you will ever be able to remember me.”

The tears built in Waverly’s eyes, threatening to fall.

“I don’t  _ know _ any of that.” Nicole continued. “But I do know that I can’t bear to keep hurting you.”

The tears slid down Waverly’s cheeks. “Want to know what I know?” Her voice was filled with passion, whether from love or anger, neither knew. “I know that all I can think about is remembering you. I play our meeting over and over again in my mind. I want  _ you _ . I could feel it within moments of being around you when I got back. The pull that my heart had towards you, even though my mind couldn’t explain why. I know that I will endure whatever pain I need to if it means I get to be close to you.”

“Waverly –“ Nicole started.

The brunette surged forward, catching the older girl by surprise. Waverly wrapped her hands around Nicole’s shoulders, pulling her into a bruising kiss. Her hands shifted, one curling around her jaw and the back of her neck, the other tangled in red hair.

Nicole couldn’t help herself, she kissed back just as intensely, her arms wrapping around Waverly’s waist instinctively and holding her tight.

Pain blossomed throughout Waverly’s entire body. All at once it felt like every scar on her body was ripping open. The brand felt like it was being seared into her skin for the first time all over again.

She just kissed Nicole harder, pouring every feeling into it. Their lips sliding together as if they were made to. She bit lightly at Nicole’s lip, feeling the way Nicole tightened her hold at the action. She licked at Nicole’s bottom lip, happy when she felt the red-head smile at the action, their kiss intensifying as she opened her mouth for Waverly’s access.

Waverly’s eyes were screwed shut with the pain, but memories started flooding her mind.

_ I get it, you’re a lesbian not a unicorn. _

_ Waverly, I would never ask you to be someone that you’re not. _

_ When I think about what I want to do most in this world, it’s you. _

_ I know baby. _

_ You are a vision. _

_ Wynonna, I love her. _

Waverly felt the tug of her wings against her back, but never lessened her grip on Nicole. And in turn Nicole kept her close, kissing her as if she was the air in her lungs. Waverly’s brand burned with new intensity.

_ We sure do a lot of patching each other up these days. _

_ Girlfriend. _

_ That is the worst British accent I’ve ever heard. _

_ As long as you want me, I will be by your side. _

_ Baby, that’s everybody’s thing. _

_ Waves, not in uniform. _

_ I would shoot anybody for you. _

_ I remember every second I was with you. Every touch. Every kiss. _

_ You’re so pretty and I like you so much. _

_ I’m not a child, Nicole. _

_ Dear, Control Freak… _

_ Shhhh baby. Don’t die okay? _

_ We’re gonna have a big old sorry party and I’ll make hats. _

_ No matter what happens, I want you to know that I have never loved anyone the way that I love you. _

_ There are a lot of things I would do to you. _

_ You are extraordinary. _

Waverly broke the kiss for a moment to catch her breath, the pain coursing through her body making her feel like she was on fire. Nicole’s breath was equally as labored.

“Kiss me.” Waverly whispered, getting the words out before the pain made it impossible for her to speak.

Nicole smiled slightly before locking their lips together again. Waverly’s eyes tightened shut as pain exploded through her body, no longer able to fight her wings as they unfolded. But she kept Nicole close, kissing her harder.

_ So competitive. So cocky. _

_ The point is that I love you. _

_ Waves, she’s just pouring me a beer! _

_ I’ll call you later? _

_ How about you just, uh, update me later, okay? _

_ To Sheriff Nicole Haught… _

_ Oh, I love you love you love you more each year _

_ This is Bulshar’s ring. _

_ Once we get that thing off, we get off. _

_ Because I do, Nicole Rayleigh Haught, I really, really love you. _

Nicole broke the kiss, letting them catch their breath, their foreheads pressed together. Waverly’s eyes were closed, the feeling of pain lessening in her body.

“Waves.” Nicole whispered. “Your wings.”

Waverly opened her eyes, only to realize they were now shielded from the sunlight. Her wings had surrounded them both, sealing them together, helping her pain but not stealing her memories.

Waverly looked up at Nicole, tears shining in her eyes. “I remember. I remember everything.”

Nicole’s eyes widened with happiness. “Really?”

Waverly smiled and nodded, tilting forward to lay a softer kiss to Nicole’s lips. “Yes.”

Nicole laughed as tears fell down her face, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” Waverly said, kissing Nicole with a smile on her face.

-

Days later, they were all curled up in the living room of the homestead. Jeremy sitting in the side chair, Robin perched on the arm. Gus sat in the rocking chair by the fire, having come into town to fill in gaps for Waverly, and bring a very important member of the family home.

Doc stood behind where Wynonna was sitting on the couch, the 18 month old Alice sat in her lap. She played with her hands, eyes lighting up every time she heard the little girl giggle.

Waverly smiled as she watched them, nestled on the other end of the couch, tucked into Nicole, her back against the other girl’s front. The red-head leaned down placing a kiss to where Waverly’s neck met her shoulder. The brunette tilted her head, stealing a quick kiss against her lips.

She looked up at Nicole, the love that she feels for the people in this room overwhelming her. Shifting, she reached for the chain that still hung around Nicole’s neck. Sliding it over her girlfriend’s head, Waverly unhooked the chain, holding the large, dark ring in her hand. She held Nicole’s left hand in her own, looking at Nicole for an indication of her answer.

Nicole leaned forward, kissing Waverly’s cheek, “Yes, baby. Always, yes.”

Waverly smiled, placing another kiss to Nicole’s lips before sliding the ring onto her finger.

At the action, she gasped as her brand warmed, a few hidden memories of her life worming their way to the surface. In an instant they faded, safe and sound back in her mind, and Waverly’s hand moved to her shoulder.

Nicole watched the motion, her eyes falling to the bare shoulder. A small gasp left her lips. She leaned forward, kissing the suddenly now faded white scar. “It healed, baby. You’re free.”

The room erupted in cheers and whoops as Waverly turned in Nicole’s arms, her smile so wide it made her cheeks hurt. She pulled Nicole in for a kiss, and it was like their world finally slotted back into place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone for reading, and I hope you've loved it as much as I loved writing it!
> 
> -
> 
> Thanks for the read, kudos, comments, or even just clicking the link. Love you, Earpers!
> 
> Feel free to come chat with me on Twitter @sheriff_earper

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for the read, kudos, comments, or even just clicking the link. Love you, Earpers.
> 
> Feel free to come chat with me on Twitter @sheriff_earper


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